Plumbers did not show up.
We got a call saying that only 3 people showed up for work today and running behind. That was at 930a said they SHOULD be able to be there by 11:30a, at 1:30p we found out they weren't coming at all.
He took the whole day off, he is T-TOTALLY pissed. They have rescheduled for Tuesday. He is going to work! I am going to be the one to be there.
OOOOO he is soooooooo PISSED.
Stay tuned
I'm stuffed! I'm also over anything fowl for the moment. Thanksgiving day was quiet and successful. The husband went to work on Friday and I turned up the stereo. In order to unpack the gazillion boxes I have of Christmas decorations just for INSIDE the house you have to have loud, ass-kickin rock n roll music playing. In order to put up the tree decorations you have to have loud, various artists Christmas music playing. So that is how I spent "Black Friday".
My husband and children from the time they were toddlers refuse to help put up the tree. Instead when I start loading the 100 disc CD changer with Christmas music they head for the hills. They will do anything but put up the tree. They will idly walk in the house see me stretching to reach and then say "Looks good ma" and keep walking. The flip side? I get ALL the credit for what my grandchildren call "Winter Wonderland" at Grandma's.
Back to the tree, we have an artificial, pre lit 9' Christmas tree. Unfortunately, I am allergic to the real thing. Swollen eyes, hives yeah I run the whole gamut. This tree is heavy as shit, trying to A) get it out of the box is always fun, kinda like wrestling a python. I think that's why they make the top section so tiny. Because you have ruptured a disc and dislocated your shoulders trying to pull out the other two sections. After twenty min. of cussing Christmas and yes I CUSS Christmas every time I put up the tree. I look in the box and the stand is gone, I pick up this huge box and shake it. Why? Hell I don't know, just seemed like the thing to do. Go out to the garage and look in the gazillion boxes of OUTDOOR stuff, no stand. Come back in the house and look in the box again. Well, SHIT! Call husband.
Where's the tree stand its not in the box?
His famous I am a safe distance of 15 miles away comment "That's a problem".
Biting my tongue to keep from saying "No shit Sherlock". I thank him for his insight and ask again "Wheres the Christmas tree stand"?
I don't know, did you check the box?
Again, biting my tongue "Yes, I checked the box and the boxes in the garage and in the house. Did you get everything out of the attic?
Slightly exhausted response from him "Yes, I got EVERYTHING out of the attic.
Since this was useless I decided to hang up. His comment "Bye honey, call me if you still can't find it".
Why would I call him? Is he going to rush home, fix me a vodka and grapefruit and hold my hand? Can you buy another one? NO! You have to buy another whole tree to get the damn stand. Finally in total frustration I check the box..yes again, then start going thru all the boxes again! Finally 1 hour and 15 min's later I find it. Tucked neatly on the side of the box that holds the damn train track that goes around the middle of the tree. But that's a whole nother post that gets ugly and I cuss Christmas, Santa, Mrs. Claus, the elves and my husband and children for ALL running away on the day after Thanksgiving. Ungrateful little.....
Have you ever heard rushing water through your bathroom walls when there is no water running? How about going from 66cgal. of water a month to 225cgal. Basically filling a swimming pool. Have you ever called your utility company about the outrageous water consumption and been told "not to over react"? Well,I have and let me tell you the Monday before Thanksgiving is NOT the day to find out you have a leak in the guest bathroom pipe that is located in the slab your house sits on! And I'm not over reacting.
Our master and guest bath back up to each other and we were hearing water rushing through the walls. Constantly. We were told to shut off all the valves then go look at our water meter. If it was running we had a leak. The 1st month we did this not running, good no leak, still hear the water. We check the attic and walls and ceiling and walk around the whole house several times. After all if you have a leak that sounds that bad you should have a river somewhere, right? NOT! The next bill came, Holy Shit! Call the plumber. OMG!
Now friends tell us.."be glad its not in the wall". How do you figure? Since they will pull out the toilet, take a JACKHAMMER to my one year renovated bathroom and chisel a hole through what is equivalent to half the bathroom and thru the tile. We will then have to re-tile the bathroom and reset or buy a new toilet since the plumber mentioned that while it still looks good we "may" want to think about replacing it due to its age. 20. When did 20 become old? At least in the wall you slap on some sheet rock and paint tada! Especially when the husband just got finished tiling your kitchen counters. Yeah the enthusiasm was just flowing...along with the water and the money.
I will, like millions of other Americans have a house full of company on Thanksgiving and we all know what happens after dinner. You got it...Uncle Charlie is going to take his annual Turkey Day sit-downer in your guest bathroom. He will be quite proud and quite long, taking his relaxing sit-downer in your potty!
NO ONE will be able to go within fifty feet of the hallway thanks to "uncle Charlie". Has he no shame? Spray dammit spray! Turn on the fan, close the door!
Being of sound mind and body I have opted to wait till the Monday after Thanksgiving to take the JACKHAMMER to my guest bathroom. I will "drink" the extra water consumption and the extra cost in all fairness to my other guests. In the meantime when the husband leaves for work he will go out to the meter and shut off the water to the house and every afternoon when I get home I will go out to the meter and turn it back on. Unlike today when I came rushing in at 90 miles a hour slam the numbers into the alarm while un-zipping my pants and doing the pooppy dance, I make it to the potty just in time...ahhhhh. Finish with my "business" get up and pull the ever present, always working handle and NOTHING happened! Shit, shit, shit! The F&^%ING water is off! Dammit Grammice! Pull up my britches and carry my not to happy ass to the street to the meter and turn the water back on. Go back in the house and head for the bathroom that now smells like Uncle Charlie two days early!
Happy Thanksgiving everyone and stay tuned for pictures!
Decided to take Fri. off at the last minute. Basically got tired of bi-polar being on the cross whenever the bosses wife was around and I wanted to get my shopping done BEFORE all the mommies with those damn race car and mommy and me shopping buggies hit the aisles. Not that I have anything against kids and mommies (I was one myself) but when did grocery shopping become a kid sport? I mean, we had buggies. Period. Depending on how many kiddies, you each held the side of the cart and baby tied nicely in the seat. The end. If you let go of the buggy and started racing around the store or pitched a bitch when you were told No you got taken outside and your mom had a talk with your butt. Nobody wanted their butt talked to. So consequently you never let go of the buggy and pretty much held your tongue lest you got the evil eye and a trip "outside".
How many times have you heard this "If you don't stop your going to time-out"? Time out is bullshit in a grocery. Where exactly are these mommies going to put them? The freezer section?
How many times have you dodged or been run into by terrorists running through the grocery? For example the 2 pre-teen boys playing "tag" in Publix. Mom is shopping very nonchalant turns and says "stop running". This causes "fast walking". Which turned into them flying around the aisle smack into my buggy which was propelled into me while I was looking for the right stuffing and running up my heel. I had been dodging these boys since they came in behind me. Totally pissed I turned and said "knock it off your in a grocery store for gods sakes didn't your mother teach you better". I wasn't yelling and I wasn't quiet. Mom looks at them then me. I am silently begging her to say just one word...please. No such luck. She just says "See what you did, didn't I tell you to stop running"? Gave me an ugly look, moved my buggy and proceeded up the aisle. The terrorists intermittently looking back at me and laughing. She never once apologized or said anything to those boys. I had to fight every urge I had not to "accidentally" run up the back of her heel with my buggy. Violence? You bet. As I was leaving they were checking out 2 registers over and they were punching and shoving each other and kept banging in to the cart behind them. Good 'ol mom......she never "noticed" a thing.
This is not a playground. In case you haven't noticed its a grocery store, a place of business, breakables, crowded. I don't think I'm alone in this thought. How many times have you stood at the register silently praying for the parent behind you to "please do something". Pop a butt, smack a hand. Anything! Why should other people be subject to your non stop "Stop that, I'm not going to tell you again" rhetoric for the bazillionth time or the non stop whining child. Because you feel by ignoring it your teaching them they aren't going to get their way by whining. Give me a break!
Society says spanking a child is:
1)A form of child abuse
2)Demeaning (I guess your child's screaming, back talking terrorist actions aren't?) 3)We are teaching our kids violence and they will grow up to be degenerates of society (worse yet mass murders and they will blame you!)
4)We are giving them low self esteem by embarrassing them
But what are you teaching your child when you never follow thru? Where is the right and wrong of the "I'm going to's or not going to's". The child knows this, you know this so why even bother? Parents worry about movies, music, the Internet. Take a look in the mirror? Who will your child learn from? Where are the tools to exist as a positive member of society coming from? If your tool box is full of empty threats and promises, then your child's tool box will be empty.
As Bill Cosby said recently "You are the parent, not the friend act like it"!
Turning 50 is awesome. I'm 5 days in and no sign of menopause! Looks like I'm on a roll. The party was the best ever. We had so much food and very little was left over. I stayed up till 2am! Got up at 630a on Sat. went to a garage sale that I've been waiting for with baited breath. Bought totally cool stuff. Like a Bombay & Co coffee table that looks like a stack of books, except the book backs are drawers. $20 bucks! Came home got food ready. Daughter came over with girls and we decorated. The funniest part of decorating came when I couldn't get something to stay hung up with the tape. After several totally pissing me off tries I came out with my usual "Well, just Fu%# a duck!" husband comes in from cutting the grass says "whatcha doin baby?" and g-daughter #2 says "She doing something with a duck."
Daughter and I were convinced husband was stuck in reverse while mowing the backyard. He has a ride 52" and every time we looked out the back porch it seemed like he was in the same spot just going in circles. They have a ride on too and 2+ acres, her husband would have been done and had a few beers while her dad cut 3/4 of an acre. He's fussy.
Anyway 7p rolls around and I'm putting finishing touches on tables, people are coming in and I hear my name "Hey grammice". I turn around and OMG! I can't say one single word! I just keep looking back and forth between these two people, moving my lips and nothing, I mean nothing is coming out. Finally, I get the presence of mind to hug them. NABS (the girl) and I worked together for 5 yrs at a local TV station. She left and I haven't seen her in 10 yrs. She was this chunky little round faced newly wed That used to call me her "work mommy". This was one of my surprises from my husband. Her husband "Cor-meister" works for a company that I deal with daily and we are within 10 miles of their house. We are so looking forward to reconnecting. 
NABS and Cor-meister with the husband. Cor-meister was my official
photographer until my batteries ran out. LOL
So many people came. Old friends and new. 
My "cooking" neighbor,
I'm getting my birthday hug.
Doesn't he look like hes' enjoying himself?
The oysters were awesome, 
My hottie husband and his steamed oysters!
Both are yummy!
Sitting on daughters lap.
Of course she is bitching the whole time!
My daughter and her BF got into the Jose' and Patron which was a hoot. They both decided to "Pole Dance" using my door jam. Rounds of applause from the crowd! But no dollars. Tough crowd. I truly wish I had a picture but, I was searching for new batteries. Dumb ass!
I also danced....alot. No door jams...bad back. But I did do the "bump" with one of my sons friends. We danced most of the night and we even did Michael Jackson's' "Thriller" with "moonwalk" and everything. Husband stood in the Florida room saying "she won't be able to walk in the morning." Ye' of little faith, I got up next morning and made bacon and eggs for daughter, husbands, kids and BF's husband who dropped by.
I had a necklace of 50th birthday several stuff. Hemorrhoid anti-aging cream etc. Plus big red flashing lips!!
Daughters' husband, a family friend
and yet again daughters BF's husband.
My big red flashing button that said
"Kiss me I'm 50" Whhhhwhooooo!
My clogging class buddies
We don't drink, we Clog.....yeah right!
Then came the BIG moment.........
The FIRE!
I'm there! I DID IT!!! I'M 50!!!! OMG, OMG!
Despite my mothers ominous words at 15 when I got caught smoking in the school bathroom, 1st and only time. "Acting like trash will only get you killed, they're gonna find you in a ditch somewhere." (My mommy really loves me but back then smoking was what "bad" girls did.)
Despite the fact that I had two wonderful kids who's goals between the ages of 15 and 18 were to drive me to an early grave.
I made it I was 50!!! The best part? Since my husband is younger than me I now have a "boy-toy"! Yep, read it in the Enquirer. When you turn 50 you get to have a "boy-toy" and I got one. So wanna know what my "boy-toy" did for my birthday? Not that! Jeez. Not in front of all those people. 
My birthday present from my "boy-toy"
He finished the Kitchen counters
The other 1/2 of my birthday present.
Did I mention he did all the trim work
himself too?
I hope everyone enjoys some of my pics. There are more but, well...you know. We all pick and choose what to put out there. LOL
It was the most awesome day. Everyone who came truly loves me. I have friends of all ages, sizes and colors and I'm proud of that. I am very lucky to have a man that went totally above and beyond the call of duty to literally spend weeks tracking down people I missed and hadn't seen in a while, building my counters and most of all just loving me through all the "maybe a party isn't such a good idea" meltdowns. My dear friend in California had her ticket, but the fires came within 10 miles of her home the day she was to leave and she couldn't.
I am truly lucky to have a daughter I can love and who loves me, fight with and talk to who busted her ass to help her dad and run a gazillion errands, with 4 kids and piss off her 13 yr. old totally by not letting her BF spend the night just so she could be there when her mom turned 50. My son who was also out in California on a business trip and his girlfriend who wanted so badly to come but couldn't get back in time, again thanks to the fires. They we will be here for Thanksgiving and we will celebrate again.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
Just wanted the lurkers to know pictures are downloaded, words are forming in my head the birthday post is coming.......
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOOOOOOO MEEEEEEEE
HAPPY BIIIIIRRRRTHDAAAAAY TOOOOOOOO MMMMMEEEEEEEEEE
HAPPY BIRTHDAAAAAAYYYYYY DEAR GRAMMMMMMMICE
HAAAAAAAAPPPPPPY BIIIIRRRTHDAYYYY TOOOOO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Sorry I don't know how to add pretty pictures to a a post yet. But, its' still
HAPPY 50TH BIRTHDAY TO ME
Went to the mail yesterday and my folks had sent me a T-shirt that says:
Mommy knows a lot BUT Daddy Knows EVERYTHING! In my house if you want the truth or logic you call my dad. My husband is sweet and nice and considerate but someday if he's lucky enough he will be as smart as MY DAD! Now in his daughters eyes he is smarter than her husband, but not as smart as her Pop-pop. So I take the T out and put it on. Looks good.
G-daughter #1 calls: "G-mom what are you for Halloween"?
Me: "I'm a "daddy's girl".
And so the night went. Everyone cracked up at my "costume". I carved my pumpkin. Vodka & grapefruit juice and knives and pumpkin carving at 4:25p on Halloween can really mess you up. I tried to cut out a nose but then noticed it was too high. Dammit! So I made another hole, much better nose. Now what about the other hole? OOOO throw in and eyebrow and you now have a 3-eyed pumpkin!
One little Halloween funny: G-son was so excited he told his mommy: "Its' OK you don't have money, the candy is FREE!!!
THE PLUMBER:
On Halloween I decided that husband had too much to do to finish the kitchen, yard and birthday shop so I called the plumber to come install the new sink. Husband not happy. Too much money. In my mind, sink installed, kitchen done put stuff away yeah! Got your kitchen back. Maid comes on Friday, PARTY Saturday. Now that's a plan. A Curt "get over it" solved the attitude over too much $. The plumbers just left AND I got a new garbage disposal too! Since this was my birthday present I decided on a new disposal. Boy, when I step out of the box, I step big time! One little hitch. My sink drains don't match the faucets. Someone told me they had too. In my mind, feeble as it is of late, this made no sense. Husband loved it and bought matching drains. Well they didn't fit. The plumber said he could "go get" new ones to match but he would have to come back on Friday. Oh, hell no! Stainless steel matches everything. Put'em in. Another executive decisions.
And now for the pictures you all have been dying for...see I know how you think!
Guess who!
Pumpkin Cyclops
