Bucket of asshole

I would really like to know WHO dumped the bucket of "asshole" on me this week? Somebody had better step up to the plate and quick because I have had it with getting my ass chewed by clients and I use the term "client" loosely.
The bi-polar office manager keeps "forgetting" to put clients on the work schedule. Come 7a the next morning when I'm there by myself & they call to check on the staus, I can't find them on the schedule....jiminy shit do some of them go off.
"I called bi-polar yesterday...yada...yada. One guy made me so mad I told him to "please hold on because he needed to yell at someone else I wasn't in the mood to listen to it"!
My daughter will tell you I am all about taking the "high road" when at work. But, this week I'm all about "Fu&% You"!
The company that does our copier maintenance raised the monthly rate. I call and ask if it was in error. Asshole number 55 tells me that my "contract" says they can raise the rate up to three times a year. So I ask if they will come out & do maintenance 3 times a year since they are going to raise my rate anyway and if they could please send me a copy of my contract since I did not have one. Then I asked how come they don't send out little "gee, we are so sorry but, we have to raise your rate because the boss needs a new boat" notices. (I didn't really say it quite like that) Boy, did that piss her off. I was told they didn't have time to notify every "small account" and I should have received a copy of my contract five years ago when we started service and if I wanted maintenance I could call back and talk to service. Can you transfer me? No. Why? Now get this "It is not my department." I then told her that I was very sorry someone had pissed in her bath water this morning and to be prepared because I was fixing to be the 2nd person
to piss in her bath water. I hung up and called back and talked to service AND her boss. Always take the high road. LOL

Lets see, I had a woman run a stop sign in a little Honda car right in front of my 4x4 Dodge quad cab, I was doing 40, she never saw the sign, I lock up, hit the horn, she flips me off stops at the next light, gets right up next to me in the other lane and proceeds to lay on the horn & flip me off some more!!!! If anyone needed to get laid it was that bitch!

I had a telemarketer give me shit because I wouldn't let her talk to my husband until she told me who she was with. It was a "personal matter".
Her: May I speak with "husband"?
Me: He's outside may I say who's calling?
Her: Sally Smith
Me: Oh, who are you with?
Her: Mrs. D it is of a personal matter I need to speak directly with him. (attitude)
Me: Are you with his Dr's. office?
Her: No, Mrs. D it is of a personal matter and it is important (emphasis on "important") I discuss this with him.
Me: I'm his wife, are you selling something?
Her: No, mam' I have "information" he has requested.
Me: About what? If you won't tell me you will not speak with him.
Her: He has requested this be confidential.

Oh hell, now I really want to give her shit because
A) If it were a present for me he would NEVER give them the home phone to call only his cell.
b) He's a banker he does his own "personal shit".
Now, I'm pissed!

Me: Are you his girlfriend? Because I'm tired of you guys calling the house all hours of the day & night and .... hello? hello?

FINALLY! I win! One more day to go, pray for me.