This 4th of July brings somethings to mind.....

Wednesday is the 4th of July. I enjoy the 4th, BBQ, Beer, Fireworks & Family. Sounds kinda corny but, I like to think what it must have been like for our forefathers trying to make laws, set guidelines and be fair to all people. If they were alive today I honestly believe they would be ashamed of us and what we have done to ourselves and our country.

For months they argued, discussed and at times threw punches at each other in order to create by-laws to lead our country. They were hot, tired and drank warm ale everyday for months trying to create a leadership of fairness.

Despite everything they did it!!! They hammered out and worked around their dislike of each other and they gave us guidelines. They sweated, cussed, wrote and erased laws that everyone could live by. They weren't politically correct. They were fair. I honestly believe that had we left The United States Constitution alone and actually read The Declaration of Independence without adding our own interpretation America would certainly be a whole lot better place.


Don't get me wrong. I am proud to be an American. But, I am totally exhausted by all the "special" interest groups, political correctness, whining about being treated unfairly or not given the same opportunities as everyone else.

In my opinion? (Like assholes everyone has one):

If anyone has any room to bitch about their life and what happened to them its the American Indian! After that everything else is bullshit! I'm Irish, my great grandmother was an indentured servant, she was raped by her "master" and there the lineage began.

I am a fisherman/a girl/woman/Mrs./Ms./baby boomer/redneck and wife I don't care, Just care enough to call me.

I work hard for what I have. You should too.

Life isn't fair....get over it.

The government owes you nothing!

I shouldn't have to "press one" for English.

Everyone should get the same education, what you do with it is your responsibility.

It DOES take a village to raise a child!

Do unto other others as you want done unto you!!!

If The United States Constitution and the Declaration of Independence were written by and for political correctness, special interest groups it would not contain two of my favorite passages:

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.


We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--


Happy Fourth of July!!!! Be safe

http://www.usconstitution.net/const.html

50th Birthday

Ok peoples, I will turn 50 on November 2nd this year. I want to do something totally cool, fun, different, exciting. I've got some ideas:

Maybe a party with a big buffet and lots of music.

A trip some place fun like Costa Rica & go fishing.

OOOOO if I had the money I would take a cruise to Alaska.

I would like to swim 1 time with the "Polar Bear Club".

I would like go to a nudist beach. But husband has turned that completely down, along with the "you are f^&& crazy if you think I'm swimming in 20 below weather just to say I did it".

White water rafting would be fun too.

Skiing in Colorado....OOO now that would be awesome. But again husband says "As clumsy as he is thats all he would need is a broken arm, leg, etc."

Daughter said "you don't want a party ma, who's gonna clean up the mess the next morning?" I said something about "birthday present" and she said "Oh hell no! I'm not cleaning up after a bunch of drunks I do that at my own house!" LOL
Husband says we should take a really nice trip in 5th wheel (camper).
Which yes that would be fun. But this is my 50th! I don't want to blow it and "wish" I had done something different than what I decided.

I have plenty of time to think about it. But I'm really leaning towards party AND a camping trip!! I WANT IT ALL!! My birthday is also on a FRIDAY! I mean the stars are so totally lining up!

I have asked several other friends how they celebrated their 50th. Get this...
We went dinner, where? I don't know, where did we go?
Uh I don't think we did anything, did we honey?
Bought a Stereo, TV etc.

See I just have to have a really cool answer when one of my friends asks what I did for my 50th! I want to say something like:

OOOOO, we went on a this awesome Cruise to Alaska. When we got back we flew directly to Colorado for a few days to ski. Poor husband broke his arm so he couldn't go with me on Monday when I went for a quick swim with the Polar Bear Club. I caught a terrible cold thats when we decided it was time for some warm weather. We flew to Costa Rica to do some fishing and a little white water rafting. While there bandits robed us of every penny we had and we were found wandering the beach naked. (See Nudist beach)Husband got bitchy cause his arm hurt and he had a rash from getting sand on his "parts". We had to borrow some money and finally got to fly home. We get in about 930p tired and exhausted on Friday. We pull into the drive way stumble into the house. I slammed into the 1/2 open laundry room door and busted my lip. Then some jackass jumps out in front of us and screams something in my face, we are blinded by a gazillion flashes of light, some f*kr is playing "Disco inferno" on the stereo and the dog is eating off the buffett table.

HAPPY 50TH BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!

A dedication to Robin, Anne and Campbells' soup

Dedication #1 Robin and Anne:
When I started losing weight, October 2005, I decided to join a dancing group that the g-daughters danced with. Daughter was gonna go, g-daughters 12 & 11 & me, a nice "girl thing" on Monday nights. Well, now I'm the only one going and I dance on Mon. & practice on Tuesday nights. We "Clog". Great exercise. No rhythm needed, just make sure you know your left from your right foot. Failure #1. Wanting to be the "best" at everything early in the game I asked for help on the side. Introduce Robin and a short time later Anne.
See I always thought I "could" dance. After all, I grew up doing the Twist, Mashed Potato, the Hustle and managed to learn the Electric Slide and the Macarena. We started practicing 1 night a week for an hour. I became known on those nights as "wrong foot grammice". Something Robin said so many times in those early days that I started signing legal documents that way. I would cuss and stomp and start over again. I swore I hated every song we learned on Mon. "I was never gonna get it"! Robin and Anne stuck it out and continue to show up once a week to hold my hand and tell me I'm doing a good job. I hardly hear "Wrong foot" any more and for all that I'm very grateful. During those early aggravating "I'm a dumb ass" days we became friends, despite our age difference. (they are very early 20's) Robin and Anne now come stay at the house and watch our pets while we are camping. My dogs adore them and act like they have not been petted or fed when Robin and Anne pull up to the house. Husband and I love having people we can trust stay at our home and we really appreciate that our "four legged friends" aren't alone for 3-4+ days just having someone show up twice a day to "run in and out". There is one catch, something I myself created. I offered on the very 1st stay to pre-make some food so they could just come and relax when they were here. I decided to make them Broccoli casserole, Chicken tetrazinni and Dirt cake. For this weekend I added Loaded Smashed Potato Casserole. The girls love my food. I always ask if they want something different. The answer is always the same "No, we like it, you don't want to make it for us any more? We love broccoli casserole etc." One time we came home a few hours early and they hadn't come back to the house yet. I threw out left over Dirt cake. Dead man walking. They showed up after work and had a meltdown! Never will I ever throw any leftover food away for at least 24hrs. after I get home. Not worth the tears and pouts.
I have been making broccoli casserole for almost 15 yrs. No changes. At Thanksgiving I have to make an extra un-cooked pan for my daughter. Its' the 1st thing after "are you frying a turkey again?" my son will ask for before he is positive he's coming.
Whenever we are invited for a covered dish party, I have to make broccoli casserole. When we go to daughters' house at Christmas I have to make 2 broccoli casseroles. 1 for dinner & 1 for her to make later. She has no shame.
Which all brings me to dedication #2.
Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Soup
I love Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup. When I'm sick, that and a grilled cheese will make me better. When daughter was a teen she would take a can and spoon to her room. (That was nasty) But, it was usually followed by a slammed door and four letter words under her breath about my life expectancy being too long, if you get my drift. So basically Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup got her through her teenage years. Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup is in my broccoli casserole, chicken tetrazinni, sausage gravy, baked spaghetti casserole, home made pot pies, beef stew, stuffing and over chicken, beef or pork roasts for the best gravy. I have a zillion recipes and Campbell's' has a recipe book with recipes.
I buy it by the case during the holidays and use every bit of it. G-daughter #1 will eat it every day if I let her when shes' here. I hope the person that invented Cream of Mushroom soup got a good pay raise. Because that little red and white can of soup has saved my ass many a time when money was low, ingredients were short...
So here's to three un-intentional staples in my life, Robin, Anne and Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup.

Robin, Elaine, Me and Anne - We are so totally cool!

Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Soup Hmmmmm Good!

Tag I'm it!!! Hot Damn

I've been TAGGED. I'm it!!! Weatherchazer tagged me!!!


I hate people doing things just because "that's the way they have always been done".
Bi-polar absolutely will not make things easier at the office on herself and everyone else just by changing the way certain reports etc. are done and when. Instead she does them the same way they have been done since 1960 and refuses to change anything. Even when I'm not the one to suggest a different route she refuses. We've all decided its a control thing with her. I've boogered up one or two things trying to do them diferently at home and at work but, at least I tried.

I don't trust people easily. I have had secrets exposed, boyfriend stolen (by my best friend no less), rumors started because someone thought they had something right & it was wrong.

I fart when I'm extremely nervous. SBD's with the occasional bronker. I had to testify in court against a former employee and my testimony was crucial. Well, I got on the stand and one rolled right up the back of my panty hose and cracked off right there sitting next to the judge. I was so shocked I just turned and looked at him like he did it and wrinkled my nose. I also farted a pea once. Farts are the funniest things I have ever known. Babies love farts. You can always blame the dog or I usually blame my husband and the grand kids back me up. Why? "They tell him grandma never farts".


I can't argue with Weatherchazer about telling people "NO". I'm the same way. I will get myself in such a bind then pray they will change their mind, not go, get someone else. But, If I get snagged because of my own dumb ass I am right there in the middle of everything and I'm usually having a good time.

As you guys might have guessed, I adore my husband. I met my husband in the psych ward of a so. Fla. hospital. I'll let you guys decide if I was a patient. LOL He is my sane side. He's a little (lot) conservative. He gives me the balance I need.
Like when he said I definitely could not go to work as a "bomber" for the roller derby. I was totally pissed about him trying to "run" my life. But, I'm almost 50 (this year) and I have my teeth, and have never broken another bone in my body after I was 6 months old.

I wanted to go to school to be a Funeral Director and even worked in a funeral home to learn the trade. My ultimate dream was to be a Forensic Pathologist. I don't believe death is a final stage. I believe we have many things to do in our lives and when we crossover we come back and learn another life lesson.
If there is such a thing as reincarnation I want to come back as a "love bug". They are born having sex and die having sex. I think sex is a great extracurricular activity. God was certainly in a good mood that day!!! LOL

I'm totally looking forward to getting "old". I can't wait to turn 50. I want to wear big brooches and dangly earrings with short shorts and t-shirt and go to the grocery. I want to travel and get the senior citizen discount and get all "gushy" when they ask for my ID to prove I'm old enough. I want to drive my car at 95 yrs old and have the police call my daughter because I'm driving the circle in the neighborhood, again, and acting like its a self made roller coaster ride. I want long grey hair down to my butt.(its' getting there)I want my great-grandchildren to think I'm as "totally cool" as my grandchildren do. But most of all I want to make sure I die before my kids, grand kids and husband because I don't think I could live without any of them at any time.

So here are 7 little things about me that you guys wish you never knew. I would Tag someone but Weatherchazer is a "tag hog" and daughter threatened to kill me. But, thank you, thank you Weatherchazer. That was fun.

Happy Fathers' Day & Double Duty Parent Day

I just wanted to give a Happy Fathers' Day to all the men sitting watching the sports channel today & all the moms' who are both mom & dad and don't have time to watch the sports channel.

My husband is special, on this day especially. When I met him I already had children, 2. He dated me anyway. He helped teach #1 son how to pee in a urinal and outside the car door. He gave my daughter the love of a steady male figure to look up to that was honest & fair. Even when she swore she hated him & wished I never married him. He adopted the children about 2yrs after we got married. He CHOOSE them and me. We have been together almost 28 yrs., been married almost 24 yrs.

He stood there and took shit from the kids when they were mad at him and still loaded their soccer & band instruments into the car for another 3 day trip in as many weeks. He manipulated money, what little we had, so we could afford $$$ dollar cleats, $$$ saxophones, flutes & Taekwando gear (for 3 of 18 classes they SWORE they would attend).
He taught them the value of hard work and earning something you wanted. We didn't buy our kids cars. They did. We paid for them without their knowledge, got a coupon book and every month they sent their car payment to the bank. When they made the last payment he handed them a savings account book with every payment in the account. Both kids save money better than we do.

He taught them that just because a man cries it does not make him a wuss or anything else. When his daughter ran away he quietly went into the bathroom & cried he was so worried something had happened to her. Me? I was furious & had every intention of kicking her ass until her nose bled buttermilk. He didn't know I knew.

When his daughter married you could have picked the bugs from his teeth he grinned so much. He wasn't worried about the cost, he was "Father of the bride".
When our son graduated same teeth, different bugs. That was "his son" going across that stage.
People would always tell us how much daughter looked like mom and son was the spitting image of his dad.
He always said "Had grammice & I ever divorced I would have fought for custody of my kids." Little did he know there really wasn't a fight, some days he could have had them! LOL

Hes' now a grandpa/goofball. Four terrorists that climb on, harass & generally give him grief on a regular basis that he dearly loves and they dearly love him.

Sometimes daughter & son are so much like him in the way they think and act that I'm not sure hes' not their "genetic dad". To me? He's better than that, he choose to be their dad.

ANY MAN CAN BE A FATHER,
BUT IT TAKES SOMEONE SPECIAL
TO BE A DADDY.


Father & Son


Daughter & Dad (below)




Grandpa on the annual "pick a Halloween pumpkin" trip with 3 of 4.

Bucket of asshole

I would really like to know WHO dumped the bucket of "asshole" on me this week? Somebody had better step up to the plate and quick because I have had it with getting my ass chewed by clients and I use the term "client" loosely.
The bi-polar office manager keeps "forgetting" to put clients on the work schedule. Come 7a the next morning when I'm there by myself & they call to check on the staus, I can't find them on the schedule....jiminy shit do some of them go off.
"I called bi-polar yesterday...yada...yada. One guy made me so mad I told him to "please hold on because he needed to yell at someone else I wasn't in the mood to listen to it"!
My daughter will tell you I am all about taking the "high road" when at work. But, this week I'm all about "Fu&% You"!
The company that does our copier maintenance raised the monthly rate. I call and ask if it was in error. Asshole number 55 tells me that my "contract" says they can raise the rate up to three times a year. So I ask if they will come out & do maintenance 3 times a year since they are going to raise my rate anyway and if they could please send me a copy of my contract since I did not have one. Then I asked how come they don't send out little "gee, we are so sorry but, we have to raise your rate because the boss needs a new boat" notices. (I didn't really say it quite like that) Boy, did that piss her off. I was told they didn't have time to notify every "small account" and I should have received a copy of my contract five years ago when we started service and if I wanted maintenance I could call back and talk to service. Can you transfer me? No. Why? Now get this "It is not my department." I then told her that I was very sorry someone had pissed in her bath water this morning and to be prepared because I was fixing to be the 2nd person
to piss in her bath water. I hung up and called back and talked to service AND her boss. Always take the high road. LOL

Lets see, I had a woman run a stop sign in a little Honda car right in front of my 4x4 Dodge quad cab, I was doing 40, she never saw the sign, I lock up, hit the horn, she flips me off stops at the next light, gets right up next to me in the other lane and proceeds to lay on the horn & flip me off some more!!!! If anyone needed to get laid it was that bitch!

I had a telemarketer give me shit because I wouldn't let her talk to my husband until she told me who she was with. It was a "personal matter".
Her: May I speak with "husband"?
Me: He's outside may I say who's calling?
Her: Sally Smith
Me: Oh, who are you with?
Her: Mrs. D it is of a personal matter I need to speak directly with him. (attitude)
Me: Are you with his Dr's. office?
Her: No, Mrs. D it is of a personal matter and it is important (emphasis on "important") I discuss this with him.
Me: I'm his wife, are you selling something?
Her: No, mam' I have "information" he has requested.
Me: About what? If you won't tell me you will not speak with him.
Her: He has requested this be confidential.

Oh hell, now I really want to give her shit because
A) If it were a present for me he would NEVER give them the home phone to call only his cell.
b) He's a banker he does his own "personal shit".
Now, I'm pissed!

Me: Are you his girlfriend? Because I'm tired of you guys calling the house all hours of the day & night and .... hello? hello?

FINALLY! I win! One more day to go, pray for me.

Boobs, Hurricanes and pressure washers

Its Saturday and I have been drug free for two whole days! A big YAHOO!! I also got to leave the house, went to Lowes, Target and the grocery!!! Another big YAHOO!

We needed to pick up some Hurricane supplies, you know batteries! Lots and lots of batteries. We have a gazillion flashlights, candles etc. We bought extra propane and 2 or 3 cases of water. Went to grocery and bought canned and boxed food, BEER (which will be replenished at least 4 times BEFORE a storm and snacks. Last year we got lazy, very lazy didn't buy a thing. We don't need a generator, daughter has one & they are usually over here for "close encounters". I have to have all the food etc. for a min. 3 days no elec. The husband tends to blow it off a little bit but, after Kate's' direct hit and Katrina snuggling us I do NOT want to be trapped with 4 grand children, no batteries, beer, food and TP! We would kill each other. Plus two dogs and three cats! Hell, shoot me now.

While at Lowes husband FINALLY bought a pressure washer. I mean FINALLY because he has been price shopping for at least 4 months. Waiting for them to go on "sale". You have no idea, I love a sale and am pretty tight with money but, an item like that on doesn't go on "sale". If its on clearance its' either missing parts or the famous "repaired and runs" tag is hanging there daring you to be the next sucker. Even on clearance they generally run about $200, bottom line your paying $200+, get over it and go on. He was looking at a 4000psi pressure washer($300+) BECAUSE it had two more interchangeable tips on it than the $200+. I love him but, we have a 3 bedroom, brick single story with a regular driveway and a regular sidewalk to the front door. We do not have a 3 story apartment complex with 9 units and a 3 acre parking lot. I love "power", the husband says I'm the female "Tim the toolman Taylor". But not on something you use 2 times a year. Get me a nail gun with mega power and I'm ready to go.

We finally settled on 2550psi plenty of power, in price range and works. He is outside right now just pressure washing his ass off. He did come in once to say "the beer wench hasn't been out yet" to which I replied "wonder where she is." He laughed and got his own beer. I'm not heartless, its hot but, I was posting and I didn't want to lose my thought. LOL He loves his toys. I'm glad he finally got one. He was getting one for Father's Day anyway.

Happy weekend, its almost vodka/grapefruit time.....another big YAHOO!

Checkin' in with flamin' boobs!

Surgery went well, despite being three hours later than what it was suppose to be. I now walk around with my hands holding up my boobs 'cause I can't put a bra on. Which should be a good thing, but because they are swollen they are heavy which pulls on the bandages which makes me take another percocet. Vicious circle. Am I whining? I have a pretty high pain threshold but dammit this hurts. Percocet constipates you so I haven't had a shit in 3 days because you can't "help" it along cause it hurts your boobs. When I finally do take a shit and wear a bra again I will appreciate both a lot more. You never know how all your body parts are connected until one goes bad. I will get test results back mid next week and hopefully that will be the end of the boob saga. I wanted to go into work tomorrow but I've been out voted. Sitting in the house is driving me insane. TV sucks. I actually dozed through a "Judging Amy" mini-marathon today. I took a shower last night, poor husband had to help wash my hair cause I'm left handed and that side had the largest cyst so I can't lift my arm up and I was trying to hold my boobs up with my right hand. How funny a visual is that! LOL He is being really good. He checks on me, brings me "blue juice", (blue Powerade, my fave), The 1st day home he had to help me to the potty about a dozen times, I handled everything else but you can't pull your moo-moo up and hold your boobs at the same time. I've only had 1 pain pill today. Seems mornings are the worst the swelling tends to go down a little during the day which helps with the pain.



My left boob looks like it was beaten with a stick. I looked in the mirror and wow black, blue and green are definately NOT my colors! I've written enough for now, I'm kinda leaning forward on the desk trying to type with 1 hand and hold my boobs with the other. But daughter told me to do a post so everyone knew I was alive.

Thanks to everyone who thought about me and checked with the daughter on my progress.