Couldn't resist! G-daughter #1, G-son and G-daughter #2
G-son always smiles like he has a hemorrhoid! LOL
Beats hell out of the "I'm not sitting here, you sit there & tell him!" Years in the past.
OK enough Christmas! Next will be SIL B-day & Happy New Year pics.
Other than g-pop and I being dumba$$ and forgetting g-sons bike for the Christmas eve
Santa run and doing a round trip to get Banana pudding on Christmas day everything was awesome.
The AeroApostle clothes were acceptable and it seems Santa brought everything deemed necessary for a good Christmas. Daughter is dealing with an ipod that won't charge for g-daughter #1 but we're thinking it will turn out OK. G-daughter #1 keeps calling me to verify that "Yes the week after Christmas at Best Buy is packed and you will never see your ipod again unless you wait till after New Years". Moms lie but NOT g-moms! LOL
As far as me and Santa...ooo he done good! Not being materialistic at all I never really have a Christmas list.
I wanted different size hand held strainers that you can put over pots etc., perfume, my favorite...Walmarts Cucumber-melon, yeah I'm totally cheap, I also really wanted a sifter that you turn the crank not the squeeze the handle kind.
Santa stepped out of the box and surprised me with a ROASTER oven!!!! Santa said my list was cheesy and I "Needed" something big.
When it comes to my stocking Santa needs a list for that too. This year he said I was nasty, nasty!
I love certain kinds of food but never buy it 'cause in my mind if it costs more than $3 for just me to eat as a snack then I'm selfish.
Anyway, I wanted a small jar of Caviar (Publix -$6) only top of the line for me LOL, Smoked Salmon ($3 Publix), pickled Okra, water crackers, a jar of Hormel pigs feet and last but not least those little sausages called Red Hots.
He couldn't find the Pigs feet or Red Hots so Santa said he owes me, but being a resilient man he got a can of the little pickled baby corn and Vienna Sausages! I luuuve Vienna Sausages.
We still have to shop for son & G-friend. They are in PA visiting her folks and would prefer we wait to send their stuff when they get back. Which kinda works out pretty good, everything is on SALE!!! Now if I can get through 2 birthday parties (tonight & Sat.)and New Years eve and the Seminoles getting their proverbial ass kicked on New Years day It will all be done and I can start planning Easter! Whewww!
Recently while taking g-son to see Santa at the MALL we walked by AeroApostle.
#1 G-daughter didn't stop, batt an eyelash, nothing. Husband I just looked at each other.
Me: Hey #1 theres AeroApostle.
#1 G-daughter: O g-mom that's so old, its all AmberCrombie now.
Me looking at husband <: - O
Bi-polar did do the Walmart thing. LOL - High Road WINS!
Christmas Eve - That is when g-pop and I load ALL the SANTA presents up into my 4x4 Dodge RAM 2500HD Cummings Diesel SLEIGH and sneak over to daughters house while they are at her ILs. We set out a platter of pigs in a blanket ready to go in the oven, I make the coffee for in the morning and we stuff the
M-bath with all the presents. We then drive home, have a toddie and wild passionate sex under the Christmas tree. OK, I lied about the sex part but wouldn't that be totally cool? Daughter just had a complete meltdown, I can hear her now "that's just nasty, Ma!". Christmas eve is my absolute, very favorite time of Christmas.
Christmas Day - Husband and I have our coffee (Kahlua in mine) and a quiet opening of presents. I put my casseroles etc. into the oven. Daughter calls 7times between 9a-10a about when we are getting there. We load up food, presents and stockings that are NOT from Santa and head over to daughters' house. The kids scream and yell about everything they've gotten, yes even G-daughter #1. We set food out, we eat, we drink, we have more toddies then head home to total peace and quiet which by 5-6p is well deserved.
Christmas Day night- Husband and I just sit in front of the tree with a toddie. Really, we talk about how we managed to "pull it off" again this year, that we are totally exhausted and the never ending comment "where did the money come from"? LOL
I probably won't post again until after Christmas as will most of us.
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE, HAPPY NEW YEAR BE SAFE
Thought I was finished Christmas shopping. I lied. I was checking my list and some how I missed 4 people that I couldn't miss. Dammit Grammice. Then I had a major dilemma. We exchange gifts at work....I was NOT gonna get Bi-polar squat. I mean, (stepping out of the "holiday spirit" for a just a minute) I would not have given her a lump of shit. She is a totally mean hateful bitch, she lies, she is two-faced and she is a bully. Anyway, I mentioned this to someone I work with and respect. In a nut shell, because of her relationship with the bosses wife, despite what everyone else thinks....it would cause a major, major rift, getting for the office and leaving her out. After telling husband, he thought a minute and said "he's probably right".
This whole rift thing really pissed me off. I mean, what about the rift its caused for me? But, then the more reasonable side came out...you know the one that says "take the high road". Sooooo half of me thought get her one of those Walmart gift box things you know watery Cocoa or flavors of horseradish. I check the price $15-$20! Dammit. Long story short the high road won, I went to the liquor store bought a 750ml bottle of Jack Daniels. Your probably thinking WHAT!? I figure she is going to get me one of those Walmart gift boxes so my present is going look damn nice next to that! I took the high road! Not much Christmas spirit involved but I felt like it was good compromise. LOL
Yesterday was our 24th wedding anniversary. We have been together 28 years. GOOD GOD!! I know there is a special place in heaven for him. I'm not high maintenance but I can give you a run for your money if I'm mad enough or I feel the need to get even. He has made me a kindlier, more gentler Grammice. HURRAY FOR US!
We are taking g-kids to see Santa tonight. G-son so TOTALLY believes in Santa that even being sick he swears if he doesn't see him he will never, ever get his Power Ranger and Spider man stuff. It is so cool and so totally innocent that I can't bear to think that someday he will grow up not believe anymore. No matter what g-mom says. So tonight we are gonna go see Santa! And hope he will sit on his lap, tell him about Power Rangers and Spider man.
So here you go guys, the source of my mini-meltdown on Black Friday. LOL Believe it or not the lights were off for the Christmas Tree pictures. Now, it just waits for all the surprises coming Christmas Eve when Santa comes down the chimney and puts all those Visa and Mastercard bills in my stocking! LOL
The Tree
Here comes the train!
The Train
Half of the Bedford/Christmas Story Village
The other half of the Village
Merry Christmas to all and to all a Goodnight!
I will be posting Christmas tree pictures and maybe a couple I took while camping this evening. Husband and I both came back with "Ebola" so the last few days have been miserable and cranky. Weather was beautiful in St. Augustine during the day but the nights were cold and very, very damp. The fog was so heavy in the mornings we couldn't see the folks camper right next door, and it sounded like a heavy rain dripping from the trees.
I'm pretty sure all the vitamin C and the extra doses of "Airborne" has helped quite a bit to keep us from going down for the count. I'm also gonna make a giant pot of Chicky noodle soup. That cures everything.
Stay tuned.........
Sh1tsandgiggles is updating my blog...Some weird things have happened. Bear with her I don't want her yelling at me about being s - l - o - w anymore. Post pictures as promised when I get back.
Briefly - Plumber showed up on Tuesday around 1p. Started listening for leak to decide where to jackhammer first, it had moved across the room to the other side of the bathroom. He decides he doesn't like that and is going to blow air thru the lines to find the leak exactly. When he does,I have a sprinkler at my front window at the sewer line outside. No air, no sprinkler, no air, no sprinkler. I could have kissed the man!!! Should cost about $250 no jackhammering and it was done in 20 min. It turns out that an original connection had been screwed too tight, cracked and had been leaking for years it just got worse. Because of all the mulch etc. that I load up in my garden it wasn't coming to the surface. The only bad thing...everything grew so well in that garden!!!
Christmas Tree - I finally got the tree all put together including the train. Surprising enough the train was the least of my worries it was plugging in all those lights. Since its pre-lit you have to plug into the right plug ALL the way up the tree. Honest, I'm not stupid. I can read and write and would probably chew gum if I liked it. But, I was so ready to kill someone! I actually walked into the garage lit a cigarette and shed a few tears. I was tired and wore out. I had drug boxes, climbed ladders, fought with garland, ribbon, tape, I had cut myself with aluminum foil, yes aluminum foil its really not hard when your trying to tear it and smooth it to make a pond for your Bedford Falls Christmas village. I was done. Have another cigarette, grab a beer and try to think of someone I could call that would feel my pain and tell me to suck it up, quit whining and get in there and finish that damn tree. But alas, daughter was in the woods hunting. So, I sucked it up and in I went. I just started plugging in every male and female plug I found. No thought just shove it in there. Stepped on the button and GLORY BE it lit ALL the way up INCLUDING the ANGEL!!! Hell I felt like Tiny Tim in scrooge when Scrooge is no longer "Scrooge"
GOD BLESS US Everyone!
Plumbers did not show up.
We got a call saying that only 3 people showed up for work today and running behind. That was at 930a said they SHOULD be able to be there by 11:30a, at 1:30p we found out they weren't coming at all.
He took the whole day off, he is T-TOTALLY pissed. They have rescheduled for Tuesday. He is going to work! I am going to be the one to be there.
OOOOO he is soooooooo PISSED.
Stay tuned
I'm stuffed! I'm also over anything fowl for the moment. Thanksgiving day was quiet and successful. The husband went to work on Friday and I turned up the stereo. In order to unpack the gazillion boxes I have of Christmas decorations just for INSIDE the house you have to have loud, ass-kickin rock n roll music playing. In order to put up the tree decorations you have to have loud, various artists Christmas music playing. So that is how I spent "Black Friday".
My husband and children from the time they were toddlers refuse to help put up the tree. Instead when I start loading the 100 disc CD changer with Christmas music they head for the hills. They will do anything but put up the tree. They will idly walk in the house see me stretching to reach and then say "Looks good ma" and keep walking. The flip side? I get ALL the credit for what my grandchildren call "Winter Wonderland" at Grandma's.
Back to the tree, we have an artificial, pre lit 9' Christmas tree. Unfortunately, I am allergic to the real thing. Swollen eyes, hives yeah I run the whole gamut. This tree is heavy as shit, trying to A) get it out of the box is always fun, kinda like wrestling a python. I think that's why they make the top section so tiny. Because you have ruptured a disc and dislocated your shoulders trying to pull out the other two sections. After twenty min. of cussing Christmas and yes I CUSS Christmas every time I put up the tree. I look in the box and the stand is gone, I pick up this huge box and shake it. Why? Hell I don't know, just seemed like the thing to do. Go out to the garage and look in the gazillion boxes of OUTDOOR stuff, no stand. Come back in the house and look in the box again. Well, SHIT! Call husband.
Where's the tree stand its not in the box?
His famous I am a safe distance of 15 miles away comment "That's a problem".
Biting my tongue to keep from saying "No shit Sherlock". I thank him for his insight and ask again "Wheres the Christmas tree stand"?
I don't know, did you check the box?
Again, biting my tongue "Yes, I checked the box and the boxes in the garage and in the house. Did you get everything out of the attic?
Slightly exhausted response from him "Yes, I got EVERYTHING out of the attic.
Since this was useless I decided to hang up. His comment "Bye honey, call me if you still can't find it".
Why would I call him? Is he going to rush home, fix me a vodka and grapefruit and hold my hand? Can you buy another one? NO! You have to buy another whole tree to get the damn stand. Finally in total frustration I check the box..yes again, then start going thru all the boxes again! Finally 1 hour and 15 min's later I find it. Tucked neatly on the side of the box that holds the damn train track that goes around the middle of the tree. But that's a whole nother post that gets ugly and I cuss Christmas, Santa, Mrs. Claus, the elves and my husband and children for ALL running away on the day after Thanksgiving. Ungrateful little.....
Have you ever heard rushing water through your bathroom walls when there is no water running? How about going from 66cgal. of water a month to 225cgal. Basically filling a swimming pool. Have you ever called your utility company about the outrageous water consumption and been told "not to over react"? Well,I have and let me tell you the Monday before Thanksgiving is NOT the day to find out you have a leak in the guest bathroom pipe that is located in the slab your house sits on! And I'm not over reacting.
Our master and guest bath back up to each other and we were hearing water rushing through the walls. Constantly. We were told to shut off all the valves then go look at our water meter. If it was running we had a leak. The 1st month we did this not running, good no leak, still hear the water. We check the attic and walls and ceiling and walk around the whole house several times. After all if you have a leak that sounds that bad you should have a river somewhere, right? NOT! The next bill came, Holy Shit! Call the plumber. OMG!
Now friends tell us.."be glad its not in the wall". How do you figure? Since they will pull out the toilet, take a JACKHAMMER to my one year renovated bathroom and chisel a hole through what is equivalent to half the bathroom and thru the tile. We will then have to re-tile the bathroom and reset or buy a new toilet since the plumber mentioned that while it still looks good we "may" want to think about replacing it due to its age. 20. When did 20 become old? At least in the wall you slap on some sheet rock and paint tada! Especially when the husband just got finished tiling your kitchen counters. Yeah the enthusiasm was just flowing...along with the water and the money.
I will, like millions of other Americans have a house full of company on Thanksgiving and we all know what happens after dinner. You got it...Uncle Charlie is going to take his annual Turkey Day sit-downer in your guest bathroom. He will be quite proud and quite long, taking his relaxing sit-downer in your potty!
NO ONE will be able to go within fifty feet of the hallway thanks to "uncle Charlie". Has he no shame? Spray dammit spray! Turn on the fan, close the door!
Being of sound mind and body I have opted to wait till the Monday after Thanksgiving to take the JACKHAMMER to my guest bathroom. I will "drink" the extra water consumption and the extra cost in all fairness to my other guests. In the meantime when the husband leaves for work he will go out to the meter and shut off the water to the house and every afternoon when I get home I will go out to the meter and turn it back on. Unlike today when I came rushing in at 90 miles a hour slam the numbers into the alarm while un-zipping my pants and doing the pooppy dance, I make it to the potty just in time...ahhhhh. Finish with my "business" get up and pull the ever present, always working handle and NOTHING happened! Shit, shit, shit! The F&^%ING water is off! Dammit Grammice! Pull up my britches and carry my not to happy ass to the street to the meter and turn the water back on. Go back in the house and head for the bathroom that now smells like Uncle Charlie two days early!
Happy Thanksgiving everyone and stay tuned for pictures!
Decided to take Fri. off at the last minute. Basically got tired of bi-polar being on the cross whenever the bosses wife was around and I wanted to get my shopping done BEFORE all the mommies with those damn race car and mommy and me shopping buggies hit the aisles. Not that I have anything against kids and mommies (I was one myself) but when did grocery shopping become a kid sport? I mean, we had buggies. Period. Depending on how many kiddies, you each held the side of the cart and baby tied nicely in the seat. The end. If you let go of the buggy and started racing around the store or pitched a bitch when you were told No you got taken outside and your mom had a talk with your butt. Nobody wanted their butt talked to. So consequently you never let go of the buggy and pretty much held your tongue lest you got the evil eye and a trip "outside".
How many times have you heard this "If you don't stop your going to time-out"? Time out is bullshit in a grocery. Where exactly are these mommies going to put them? The freezer section?
How many times have you dodged or been run into by terrorists running through the grocery? For example the 2 pre-teen boys playing "tag" in Publix. Mom is shopping very nonchalant turns and says "stop running". This causes "fast walking". Which turned into them flying around the aisle smack into my buggy which was propelled into me while I was looking for the right stuffing and running up my heel. I had been dodging these boys since they came in behind me. Totally pissed I turned and said "knock it off your in a grocery store for gods sakes didn't your mother teach you better". I wasn't yelling and I wasn't quiet. Mom looks at them then me. I am silently begging her to say just one word...please. No such luck. She just says "See what you did, didn't I tell you to stop running"? Gave me an ugly look, moved my buggy and proceeded up the aisle. The terrorists intermittently looking back at me and laughing. She never once apologized or said anything to those boys. I had to fight every urge I had not to "accidentally" run up the back of her heel with my buggy. Violence? You bet. As I was leaving they were checking out 2 registers over and they were punching and shoving each other and kept banging in to the cart behind them. Good 'ol mom......she never "noticed" a thing.
This is not a playground. In case you haven't noticed its a grocery store, a place of business, breakables, crowded. I don't think I'm alone in this thought. How many times have you stood at the register silently praying for the parent behind you to "please do something". Pop a butt, smack a hand. Anything! Why should other people be subject to your non stop "Stop that, I'm not going to tell you again" rhetoric for the bazillionth time or the non stop whining child. Because you feel by ignoring it your teaching them they aren't going to get their way by whining. Give me a break!
Society says spanking a child is:
1)A form of child abuse
2)Demeaning (I guess your child's screaming, back talking terrorist actions aren't?) 3)We are teaching our kids violence and they will grow up to be degenerates of society (worse yet mass murders and they will blame you!)
4)We are giving them low self esteem by embarrassing them
But what are you teaching your child when you never follow thru? Where is the right and wrong of the "I'm going to's or not going to's". The child knows this, you know this so why even bother? Parents worry about movies, music, the Internet. Take a look in the mirror? Who will your child learn from? Where are the tools to exist as a positive member of society coming from? If your tool box is full of empty threats and promises, then your child's tool box will be empty.
As Bill Cosby said recently "You are the parent, not the friend act like it"!
Turning 50 is awesome. I'm 5 days in and no sign of menopause! Looks like I'm on a roll. The party was the best ever. We had so much food and very little was left over. I stayed up till 2am! Got up at 630a on Sat. went to a garage sale that I've been waiting for with baited breath. Bought totally cool stuff. Like a Bombay & Co coffee table that looks like a stack of books, except the book backs are drawers. $20 bucks! Came home got food ready. Daughter came over with girls and we decorated. The funniest part of decorating came when I couldn't get something to stay hung up with the tape. After several totally pissing me off tries I came out with my usual "Well, just Fu%# a duck!" husband comes in from cutting the grass says "whatcha doin baby?" and g-daughter #2 says "She doing something with a duck."
Daughter and I were convinced husband was stuck in reverse while mowing the backyard. He has a ride 52" and every time we looked out the back porch it seemed like he was in the same spot just going in circles. They have a ride on too and 2+ acres, her husband would have been done and had a few beers while her dad cut 3/4 of an acre. He's fussy.
Anyway 7p rolls around and I'm putting finishing touches on tables, people are coming in and I hear my name "Hey grammice". I turn around and OMG! I can't say one single word! I just keep looking back and forth between these two people, moving my lips and nothing, I mean nothing is coming out. Finally, I get the presence of mind to hug them. NABS (the girl) and I worked together for 5 yrs at a local TV station. She left and I haven't seen her in 10 yrs. She was this chunky little round faced newly wed That used to call me her "work mommy". This was one of my surprises from my husband. Her husband "Cor-meister" works for a company that I deal with daily and we are within 10 miles of their house. We are so looking forward to reconnecting. 
NABS and Cor-meister with the husband. Cor-meister was my official
photographer until my batteries ran out. LOL
So many people came. Old friends and new. 
My "cooking" neighbor,
I'm getting my birthday hug.
Doesn't he look like hes' enjoying himself?
The oysters were awesome, 
My hottie husband and his steamed oysters!
Both are yummy!
Sitting on daughters lap.
Of course she is bitching the whole time!
My daughter and her BF got into the Jose' and Patron which was a hoot. They both decided to "Pole Dance" using my door jam. Rounds of applause from the crowd! But no dollars. Tough crowd. I truly wish I had a picture but, I was searching for new batteries. Dumb ass!
I also danced....alot. No door jams...bad back. But I did do the "bump" with one of my sons friends. We danced most of the night and we even did Michael Jackson's' "Thriller" with "moonwalk" and everything. Husband stood in the Florida room saying "she won't be able to walk in the morning." Ye' of little faith, I got up next morning and made bacon and eggs for daughter, husbands, kids and BF's husband who dropped by.
I had a necklace of 50th birthday several stuff. Hemorrhoid anti-aging cream etc. Plus big red flashing lips!!
Daughters' husband, a family friend
and yet again daughters BF's husband.
My big red flashing button that said
"Kiss me I'm 50" Whhhhwhooooo!
My clogging class buddies
We don't drink, we Clog.....yeah right!
Then came the BIG moment.........
The FIRE!
I'm there! I DID IT!!! I'M 50!!!! OMG, OMG!
Despite my mothers ominous words at 15 when I got caught smoking in the school bathroom, 1st and only time. "Acting like trash will only get you killed, they're gonna find you in a ditch somewhere." (My mommy really loves me but back then smoking was what "bad" girls did.)
Despite the fact that I had two wonderful kids who's goals between the ages of 15 and 18 were to drive me to an early grave.
I made it I was 50!!! The best part? Since my husband is younger than me I now have a "boy-toy"! Yep, read it in the Enquirer. When you turn 50 you get to have a "boy-toy" and I got one. So wanna know what my "boy-toy" did for my birthday? Not that! Jeez. Not in front of all those people. 
My birthday present from my "boy-toy"
He finished the Kitchen counters
The other 1/2 of my birthday present.
Did I mention he did all the trim work
himself too?
I hope everyone enjoys some of my pics. There are more but, well...you know. We all pick and choose what to put out there. LOL
It was the most awesome day. Everyone who came truly loves me. I have friends of all ages, sizes and colors and I'm proud of that. I am very lucky to have a man that went totally above and beyond the call of duty to literally spend weeks tracking down people I missed and hadn't seen in a while, building my counters and most of all just loving me through all the "maybe a party isn't such a good idea" meltdowns. My dear friend in California had her ticket, but the fires came within 10 miles of her home the day she was to leave and she couldn't.
I am truly lucky to have a daughter I can love and who loves me, fight with and talk to who busted her ass to help her dad and run a gazillion errands, with 4 kids and piss off her 13 yr. old totally by not letting her BF spend the night just so she could be there when her mom turned 50. My son who was also out in California on a business trip and his girlfriend who wanted so badly to come but couldn't get back in time, again thanks to the fires. They we will be here for Thanksgiving and we will celebrate again.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
Just wanted the lurkers to know pictures are downloaded, words are forming in my head the birthday post is coming.......
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOOOOOOO MEEEEEEEE
HAPPY BIIIIIRRRRTHDAAAAAY TOOOOOOOO MMMMMEEEEEEEEEE
HAPPY BIRTHDAAAAAAYYYYYY DEAR GRAMMMMMMMICE
HAAAAAAAAPPPPPPY BIIIIRRRTHDAYYYY TOOOOO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Sorry I don't know how to add pretty pictures to a a post yet. But, its' still
HAPPY 50TH BIRTHDAY TO ME
Went to the mail yesterday and my folks had sent me a T-shirt that says:
Mommy knows a lot BUT Daddy Knows EVERYTHING! In my house if you want the truth or logic you call my dad. My husband is sweet and nice and considerate but someday if he's lucky enough he will be as smart as MY DAD! Now in his daughters eyes he is smarter than her husband, but not as smart as her Pop-pop. So I take the T out and put it on. Looks good.
G-daughter #1 calls: "G-mom what are you for Halloween"?
Me: "I'm a "daddy's girl".
And so the night went. Everyone cracked up at my "costume". I carved my pumpkin. Vodka & grapefruit juice and knives and pumpkin carving at 4:25p on Halloween can really mess you up. I tried to cut out a nose but then noticed it was too high. Dammit! So I made another hole, much better nose. Now what about the other hole? OOOO throw in and eyebrow and you now have a 3-eyed pumpkin!
One little Halloween funny: G-son was so excited he told his mommy: "Its' OK you don't have money, the candy is FREE!!!
THE PLUMBER:
On Halloween I decided that husband had too much to do to finish the kitchen, yard and birthday shop so I called the plumber to come install the new sink. Husband not happy. Too much money. In my mind, sink installed, kitchen done put stuff away yeah! Got your kitchen back. Maid comes on Friday, PARTY Saturday. Now that's a plan. A Curt "get over it" solved the attitude over too much $. The plumbers just left AND I got a new garbage disposal too! Since this was my birthday present I decided on a new disposal. Boy, when I step out of the box, I step big time! One little hitch. My sink drains don't match the faucets. Someone told me they had too. In my mind, feeble as it is of late, this made no sense. Husband loved it and bought matching drains. Well they didn't fit. The plumber said he could "go get" new ones to match but he would have to come back on Friday. Oh, hell no! Stainless steel matches everything. Put'em in. Another executive decisions.
And now for the pictures you all have been dying for...see I know how you think!
Guess who!
Pumpkin Cyclops
Well some good news today. YeeHaw! Especially after yesterdays post. First the *sun tunnels were installed with only one phone call from the husband. This call went on in the middle of a work problem that was quickly becoming a crisis.
* Sun Tunnels = Plexiglass bubbles on outside of roof with tubing (like a big dryer tube) is placed at the beginning and end and another flat piece of frosted plexiglass in the room that you want it in. allows natural light with no leaks (like skylights) and no heat since its all done with light reflection in the tube. totally cool and gives a lot of light even on a cloudy day in an other wise dark room. Pics coming soon.
Husband: Honey, they can only put one tunnel where you wanted.
Me: Why?
Husband: Because they didn't come with the flex tubing its straight pipe and the other will have to go thru both roofs.
Me: Tell them to go buy flex tubing & put them where I wanted that's what I paid for.
Husband: They can't do that, tell me where you want them to stick the 2nd tunnel.
Me: I love you and this is a bad time, I know exactly where you guys can stick the tunnel. But, Its' not fair to you for me to be ugly so you are there you figure it out and remember I will be home soon.
Husband: Uh, OK Love you and thank you for not being ugly. Click
The tunnel is where I wanted, it took them just a little longer but its' amazing what a small threat like "I'll be home soon" will get accomplished without being ugly. LOL
On the other side, my bosses wife came back from lunch today and said that after they left she started thinking about what I said about bi-polar getting her raise and me being the "last one out". Well, she realized that everyone else's raise came in the first 6 months of the year and I was the only one who hadn't gotten a raise this year so that was unfair and they are giving me my raise. YEEHAW!!!
With the raise if they cut our office hours it will hurt but it will not be devastating. Which without the raise, it was going to be devastating. That was one of the things that was kinda rocking my world and causing me to be up most of the night. With construction being the way it is here in Sunny Florida right now the possibility of a 3 day work week can be ugly on the money side. We can make it, just prepping for it now. Of course all this has come about right in the middle of spending money for "home improvements". Isn't life grand?
But, Que sera sera I feel much better now. LOL Must be the Vodka & grapefruit juice.
In case you haven't already heard for my 50th b-day I really wanted my kitchen counter tops tiled, they were Formica circa 1988. I love tile. Not real impressed with Corian, granite etc. I'm a tile girl. My neighbors recently had granite installed in their kitchen and it is really pretty. But not me, so here's some pics. The husband took off a week from work to do it. Not that it will take a week but we have to play golf at least once maybe twice. 
Done, big hole is where sink goes! Duh huh!
Diligence and beer the husband is working hard!
See the color! OOOOOO
Small portion of the mess
My husband is doing a fantastic job! He works harder and is more meticulous because he doesn't want it to "look like a dumb banker did it". Of course like most women I sometimes have more "balls" than brains when I said "when your done the kitchen, you should go ahead and tile the master bathroom sink like I wanted." Hellllo! Do you not know when to quit? Knowing me he politely said "F&%$ you". He did laugh and shake his head while flipping me off. Guess that wasn't good timing. LOL
Preparing for this wasn't so bad either. I mean I really did the "smart" thing and had the maid come clean the day before we started. She only comes twice a month but, lord that shouldn't have been the day! That bit of intelligent information came to me when husband took out the Jam Saw and proceeded to cut off the original back splash and fifty tons of dust blew through my house covering everything within a two mile radius. OMG! We opened windows, turned on fans and choked to death while it cleared out. So much for the maid coming. Did I mention also that in the middle of all this fun we are having a new roof put on. Oh, yeah. It hasn't rained in 2 months and what does it do the day they start? Rains like Noah just finished the Ark! So what should have taken two days has taken four and the last part, installing Sun Tunnels is happening tomorrow. Well, if it doesn't rain, so I'll just disregard the 60% chance the weatherman has been touting all day. At least we are having fun right?
Now for the news that sucks:
I was told I wasn't going to get my pay raise this year because business has been so slow the company is "tightening their belts". Basically it will affect me and the warehouse manager. The two lowest paid in the company and there are only two people in the office, me & bi-polar. What really sucks? Bi-polar got hers already this year. About a month ago to be exact. My pay raise was due Oct. 6th on my anniversary date, but bi-polar said it was the day she was "told" to give me a raise." As in "Hasn't Grammice been here a year yet? Shouldn't she get her raise?" I've been there four years and every year I wait for bi-polar to "remember" to give me my raise. That really sounds greedy and spoiled. I'm not, it just irritates me that hers comes EXACTLY on her anniversary date unless that is a weekend then she gives it to herself the Friday before. Rakes my ass. I keep telling myself that at least I still have a job. So, I'm trying to be positive. But DAMN I work hard, do what I'm asked and on a moments notice I will work late when bi-polar doesn't come in, like today. I found out at noon that I was going to be there till 5. At 9a I started asking where she was, she was suppose to be in at 11-1130 had something to do with her daughter. OK, So I will work from 7a-5p, overtime is good. But she will bitch if I put an appt. on the calendar a month in advance just so everyone knows I'll be out. We used to call it "consideration". Something she knows nothing about.
Enough about her I may have to go get a vodka and grapefruit on a work night.
To end on a positive note, what does everyone think of my kitchen in progress? I love it! I have a visual going that even bi-polar can't kill.
God I hate Monday! I hate remodeling. I hate being bored at work. I hate bi-polar looking at me! I hate doing laundry! I hate my husbands snoring. I hate not being able to eat whatever I want, when I want without gaining a gazillion pounds. I hate trying to get dead beat contractors to pay their bills that are 5 mos. old and they keep promising to bring me a check and bi-polar keeps letting work get done for them and their bills keep getting higher then she tells the owners' wife I'm not doing collections. I hate bi-polar looking at me.
OK, I grew up watching Elvis swivel, rock, sweat, get fat, sweat more and still rock. I remember shedding real tears when he died and thinking about how sad his life had gotten. I remember thinking "poor Lisa Marie". Yeah, OK I was young too.
I also grew up NOT eating peanut butter and banana sandwiches. I had cream cheese and jelly or cream cheese and banana. I HATE peanut butter. Yep, nasty, stinky throw-up food peanut butter. I did not introduce my children to PB. My husband did when we were dating and the kids were about 5 and 3.
Husband: Hey guys how about a PBJ?
Kids: Whats that?
Husband: Grammice, they don't know what a PBJ is? pbj=peanut butter and jelly
Me: Nope, we don't eat that sh1t in my house. (I wasn't even ashamed)
Husband: Come here guys let me show you something.
My children then watched in awe as he spread PB first on 1 side then Jelly on the other and smashed them together. They ate like someone had made them a candy sandwich and I was out of town. From that point on PBJ's became a staple in our house. I was not happy.
Since money was so bad the husband in college, I was making $114.00 per week as a secretary, he introduced them to another way to enjoy eating PBJ's. Something called BIS-ghetti with PBJs. That's Franco American Spaghetti w/ketchup, mustard, brown sugar & about a 1lb ground beef added. Cook it all together and serve it with milk & a PBJ. At this point my kids loved my husband so much more than me, after all I had hidden this treasure of life from them.
Daughter and son love this dish to this day. Not too long ago daughter called & begged her dad to make her bis-sghetti and she fed it to the G-kids.
Recently while grocery shopping my husband slips about 4 Reese's PB cups into the cart, he tells me they were "new" and he wanted to try them. I look down and see a picture of Elvis on the front and the words "Banana Cream". Well, HOT DAMN! Banana Cream and chocolate? Hmmmm this might be good. Later, when we get home I noticed they have PB and banana Cream! Banana Cream wins out, I mean it has to hide the taste of the PB right? The husband & I share one.
People let me tell you that despite the PB REESE'S has hit the jackpot! This is GOOOOOD! Then husband says (eyes rolling around head) "Bet these would be good COLD".
O hell! In the fridge they went. I still only eat about 1/2 because I really don't like PB but guys I'm telling you....buy them, fridge them and then find a place of total peace & quiet and savor each bite.
I can hardly believe it.....our temperature is going to 48 in the evenings here starting tonight! Can I hear a rousing hallelujah! For those of you who have already seen those temps you can at least be happy for us here in north Fla.
The husband just laughs because he knows the very 1st thing going on the stove this weekend will be my famous Chili! Simmering all damn day! Hmmmmm I can almost taste it! Daughter hates it and everyone else asks for the recipe. Daughter says they are trying to improve it. LOL You can only do your best raising them right?
The husband & I are tiling the kitchen counter tops, its my 50th birthday present. I currently have the lovely and everlasting 1988 Formica. Scratched and stained every where. I have scrubbed and polished it over and over trying to clean it.
Its U-G-L-Y.
I have looked for months for exactly what I wanted. I knew what color, what style everything. I was on the Internet researching and shopping. Nothing! Totally frustrated. Then one Saturday I finally found it at the last place I thought to look. If it hadn't been for daughter calling & wanting me to pick up g-daughter #1 "because shes on your side of town" I would never have found my tile.
To keep within the budget we are installing ourselves, not hard and we have done this before. Originally we were quoted $5.50 a sq.ft for Lavastone which is almost like a mexican in thickness, but has the deep rich color of a mosaic, perfect for counter tops. YEH!!!! Totally in my budget with some left over! Whooowee! While we are getting quantity etc. figured out the "screw you" rock rolls out and the sales rep says "I am so sorry the previous price I gave you was for a 4x4 square, each, the actual price is......$30.00 a sq. ft.! OMG!!!! Holy Shit!!! Now to some that wouldn't be too bad but me? Oh hell, after I gave banker hubs mouth to mouth to resuscitate I told the rep I would let him know, I HAD to think! He apologized again BUT he could lower the price to $20.00 because of the error. We went home.
I was in a crap-ass mood all weekend because I had what I wanted, I was misquoted and frankly I was just PO'd about the whole thing. Dammit! Never fails when we think everything is going along great on a home project in rolls the "screw you" rock. Husband felt terrible, we talked, fudgetted, re-measured in case we had too much, you know all the things to try and figure out how to work around the "screw you" rock. Well, the husband surprised me Wednesday when I left work he called "Order your tile I figured out how we can pay for it and not kill our budget". Good 'ol banker husband...I sure hope he likes the tile when he gets out of jail!!!! LOL*
*Only kidding on the jail thing....we did figure it out and the tile is being delivered next week.
P.S.
If you have a chance to read Sh1ts and Giggles it's a good read today and a heart warming post.
Just a quickie. The husband and I just had this conversation, its 745p.
Husband-in kitchen: I'm kinda like you just got the "fungrys"*.
*more munchy than hungry
Me-living room: Eat your yogurt before it goes bad.
Husband: I can't go to bed yet or I'll be up at 3 am.
Wife: What?
Husband: I can't go to bed or I'll be at 3 am.
Wife: Whats that got to do with yogurt?
Husband: What Yogurt?
Wife: Aren't you hungry?
Husband: No, why?......
What was REALLY said:
Husband: I'm kinda like you, tired but not ready for bed.
Wife: Eat your yogurt before it goes bad.
Husband:I can't go to bed yet or I'll be up at 3 am.
Wife: What?
Husband: I SAID I can't got to bed I will be up at 3am.
Wife: Oh, I thought you said you were hungry like me. Do you want any yogurt?
Husband: No, I'm just tired tonight. What just happened here?
Wife: One of us can't hear.
Goodnight
Well, who gives a shit but, Brittany Spears kids finally will get a somewhat half-ass chance at a life, for now, her ex has received custody. In my opinion "why didn't this happen a year ago"?
Spent a total of 2 hours between the husband & I on phone with daughter about my 50th birthday party last night. Husband drives her crazy cause he's too "conservative" and wants to do this organized type thing but swears he doesn't. Daughter is totally organized but agonizes over every detail. Me? I'm a nats ass away from just slap it on a table, put up some lights, grab some beer & liquor and tadada! It's a party! LOL. But alas daughter says we need a theme.
We picked one last nite, a regular birthday party with balloons and hats and noise makers etc. and now after dreaming about some of the weirdest birthday parties ever I don't know if I like the idea. This will send daughter into a complete meltdown along with the fact that I'm not worried about the menu because its my birthday. We are definitely having oysters raw & steamed because its fall and they are totally awesome right now..good and salty. Hmmmm! Everything after that is a bonus.
So peoples out there in blog-land HELP!!! I have till Friday to come up with something. If you like the "Happy Birthday" with hats, balloons etc. let me know.
We have vetoed the following:
Parrot Head
Trash Bash
Anything Mexican
Nifty 50
Over the Hill
So Burg? Sunshine? Kat? Heather? Weather? Help out an "old Lady". LOL
Growing up my mother always said "No running with scissor", "Do you have on clean underwear? Because your not going to embarrass the whole family if your in an accident and your underwear is dirty." But the most famous of all was "You're gonna poke your eye out". No matter what we did the end result was we were gonna poke our eye out. After a rock fight we had with our cousins who lived up the hill from us my mother promptly beat our butts and said "how many times have I told you? Were you trying to put someones eye out?" No we weren't really, we were just trying to bean my other two cousins because they were older and meaner and they started it!
On our last camping trip I tried to "poke my eye out". But that wasn't all that happened on this trip of trips. To begin with we were suppose to leave first thing in the morning, but bipolar pitched a bitch and we didn't leave til 230p. Within 45 minutes of getting on the interstate we see 6 FHP cars radaring in the median, 1 hour into the trip it is now pouring down rain and we have passed two accidents. This goes on for the next 3 hours. We are pulling a 30' 5th wheel its raining so hard you can't see the hood of the truck, traffic has crawled to 40-45mph, people are pulling off the road but NOT leaving their flashers or lights on so you can see them and NOT kill them. As we get closer to our destination traffic slows to 25mph, its now a medium drizzle of rain, there is construction on both sides of the highway, orange cones, equipment I mean everything is sitting on the side of the road. We are 12 miles from the campground and we hear this whizzing sound and it sounds like its coming from the car next to us, but we don't see anything and keep inching along. About 2 miles later this family in the next lane yells over to us "Hey your front tire is flat". Son of a bitch! Front drivers side no less, the drizzle has now turned to a heavy drizzle as on "Q" and we have to pull into the mud in the construction area to try and change this F%$#@! tire. 15 minutes later the tire is changed! I am so not kidding you! We worked like a pit crew. No fighting, bitching nothing. He started the lug nuts, I finished them while he got out the spare, I slid off the flat he slid on the spare, I put the lugs back on, he put the flat in the back and came back to tighten the nuts. We were awesome. We slide back into traffic and arrive soaked, dirty and ready for a drink at the campground. Joy of joy my folks, uncle and aunt are waiting. I take one look at my mom and thought Shit shes' in a bad mood about something! You know how you can look at your mom and know that. Well, boy howdy I couldn't have hit the nail on the head any harder. Shortly after that daughter & her family pull in. I immediately hand the husband a beer, fix a vodka & grapefruit and grab the cigarettes. I hug my mom and
the first conversation went something like this:
Mom: Are you going to drink all night or you going to eat pizza with the family, do you even eat? You look anorexic.
Me: Yes ma I'm going to have a few drinks tonight. It was a rough stressful drive and I'm exhausted. Yes, I eat pizza, no I'm not anorexic.
Mom: What are the g-kids doing, where are they? You know you can't just let them run in the campground, this isn't your campground at home, your in da-da and there are pedophiles everywhere!
Me: I don't know go ask daughter shes' the mom. My kids are all grown up. Ma, just sit and relax lets' visit have a drink you need it.
Mom: Don't tell me what to do! (raises eyebrows and gives evil eye)
Me: I'm not telling you what to do, I'm just saying lets relax.
Mom walks away and is now searching for daughter. Yeah! Finally gets monkey off my back.
Dad: Hey daughter, where'd your mother go?
Me: To harass daughter. Thinks daughter is feeding kids to pedophiles.
Dad: (rolling eyes) Yeah, shes' been like this all day.
Uncle: I see you pissed off your mother.
Me: Wasn't me you guys did it before I got here.
Finally the pizza arrives, we all eat and folks decide to leave so we can get an early start in morning. In the meantime daughter is drinking and so is SIL. G-kids are in bed and we are waiting on son and g-friend to arrive from down south. By 1030 I'm dead and head into bed. Too much stress for one day & I just want to watch TV & sleep!
Next morning I get up get,take shower and while I'm combing out my wet hair and talking to son & g-friend I POKE MY EYE OUT!!!! O, holy shit! What my mother said was true! I wasn't paying attention and stuck the sharp prongs on my wide tooth comb in my eye!!! OMG, OMG! My eye is watering, I can't see and suddenly the white of my eye is beet red. It looked like a bad Visine commercial. Damn, damn, damn! 1 hour later I still can't see and since my folks live close to CG I call my mom.
Me: Ma, you busy?
Mom: (real low tone of voice) No, why?
Me; Whats wrong?
Mom: Got a migraine, what do you need?
Me: Mom, I poked my eye out.
Mom: WHAT!
At this point my mom now feels totally needed by her dumbass daughter and being an anorexic drunk is totally forgiven! (Truly folks we love each other we just have that mom-daughter thing every once in a while)
I then explained what happened, get daughter to drive me to their house. Give daughter debit card and her & my dad go get me an eye patch and eye cream. See my mom works for an "eye Dr." & has a friend who's' a pharmacist he told her what kind of cream & the eye patch! I put on the patch and daughter & I decided it needed personality. Her & sons' g-friend painted and "eye" on my patch so I wouldn't scare my nephew when I meet him for the 1st time. 
GD-#1,Me,G-son
Son & I with patch.
Wasn't I just lovely? Do I look anorexic? LOL A little lit maybe but not anorexic!
The rain started Sat. afternoon. And it rained and rained and rained then it rained again! My nephew was adorable & his mommy is very nice & we had a wonderful rainy Saturday.
My nephew
My baby br., son, g-kids
My family!
Then on Sunday husbands family comes. We haven't seen most of them in 6-8 years. Sunday just re-defined why. I mean they are the husbands' family & he loves them. But daughter, son, me, SIL we are who we are and the two shall never mesh! Well right after we got family photos taken the rain started again. I mean instant torrential down pour! Daughter and I are slamming things under the awning and into the camper. Husbands family is slamming themselves in to their vehicles and hauling ass! Lets hear a big Hurray for lightening! My folks come back later in the rain & we are sitting under the awning drinking beer discussing the days events when husband steps up to go into the camper and hits his toe on the step and splits it open and breaks it, AGAIN!! There is nothing you can do for a broken toe, especially since my husband usually breaks his toes on a regular basis. I go get Neosporin and a band aid. About that time another huge crack of thunder and a lightening bolt the size of a mushroom cloud goes off! Folks haul ass into their vehicle, we yell bye and everyone splits for shelter!
We are going home tomorrow! Hallelujah!
It was a very long weekend. We love seeing my folks and we are done seeing the husbands side for another 6-8 years. Everyone has the one camping trip from hell. Ours wasn't near as bad as some I've heard but at least none of us were "Running with scissors" this time!
Well, the husbands friends all went out of town and work details this weekend so I begged to play golf with him. He pretty much plays every Sunday. This works for me, down time, remote control and etc. I stay home plan a fabulous dinner and do laundry, 5 loads max, so I'm happy with Sundays. Anyway, This Sunday, no laundry, no dinner to speak of so he takes me to play golf, Mercy golf.
Yee haww!!! We get there. I'm a 100-126 score he is much better 75-96 when he plays. We had two old ladies barely able to get out of the cart in front of us. 25 minutes into the 1st hole they are....just off the women's tees. OMG its gonna be a long morning. 2 1/2 hrs later we are just rounding the 10th hole a par three. They have been on this hole near as we can tell 15 minutes. They are just now getting to the flag. Husband says: I'm done I can't do this any more. I agree. We head home. I am 2 bloody Marys' into the game and he is very nice and says "its not you honey, Its the ladies in front of us". 1 1/2hrs to get to 9 holes!!! Plus they lost their putter and their driver sock so we had to pick up and walk the stuff up to them. The 1st lady had a handicap sticker on her cart. She could hardly stand up and she hit the ball about 2 ft. I told husband "be nice that could be me 1 day". They were really nice, but Sunday is the busiest golf day of the week....Why would you put them 1st at 830a? For those of you who play golf you will understand the frustration, for those who don't...its' like being stuck in rush hour traffic doing 5 mph and your exit is less than 30 ft. in front of you. So, despite my frustration at playing a lousy game I can blame Mercy golf on the 2 little old ladies playing in front of us. I don't get to play too much with husband, he gets frustrated with me. Not playing fast enough etc. But, In my mind you can never win at golf. I don't play seriously. I like music when I play, I like to drink when I play. The course will win every day. Me? I'm outside in the sun on a Sunday, drinking bloody Marys' batting a ball around in the grass. Come on...Have fun, relax. Get over all the fancy stuff. You're not Tiger Woods. Nobody is paying you to be here. You are PAYING to get your ASS kicked by a ball. My dad says Golf is like watching grass grow. You know what? Behind those two ladies today....he is soooo right!!!
Just wanted everyone to know that I WANT to do the post about our last trip. But, daughter has not downloaded the pics yet and I can't do mine because camera is in NY being repaired. She says she has been busy. I'm not so sure. I mean 13 has only had 1 game and 3 cheer practices the last week. Plus we all know as of late that she has had time to post. I think shes trying to make me look bad.
Anyway, as soon as she finds the time to help out her mom...who changed her diaper, washed and bandaged her boo-boos, read her diary when she wasn't home and saved her butt a gazillion different ways over the last 32 years I will do the post that I have been working on in my head for the last 2 weeks.
Just a quick "this is how my week is gonna start" post.
Sunday morning our best/oldest dog Munch, wakes up with the dog-a-rias. Thank God he barks, pants and paws you to go outside. Open screen door, hauls ass, I mean tail tucked flying straight for very back wooded area of yard. If he were human his butt cheeks would have cemented together from the force of squeezing so tight. We do this several times through out the morning. I'm doing laundry, the dog is shitting in the woods and husband is playing golf. Sounds fun huh?
Finally around noonish he settles down and is just laying out on the tile floor, dog not husband. Husband gets homes, Munch so happy, no sign whatsoever of the lethargic, dog-a-ria from earlier that I had to deal with. Husband states "well, he seems to be fine now."
Around 830p husband says he just cleaned up very bad dog-a-ria in living room. Uh-Oh. Not Munch? I say hopefully. We both look down at Munch who is now foaming at the mouth, eyes all cloudy, breathing very hard. Shit! Clean off mouth with paper towel, gag repeatedly. Run dog outside quickly. Nothing! He sits on stoop and looks at us.
Decide I am taking him to vet 1st thing in AM. He's old, hes' our baby & we just know he is dying before our very eyes. Call daughter to tell her. Miss Sympathy says "Well, that's what happens when you own dogs, you get attached, they die. Just give him a TUMS he will be fine". She uses TUMS for everything, ear aches, stomach problems, burns etc. No sympathy there. We decide to cover the guest bath in an old blanket, turn on the little nitelite and let him sleep in there. At least if he got dog-a-rias in the night it was confined & I could just throw the blanket away.
I go to bed at 945p at 130a I am still wide awake. I'm worried about Munch, keep getting up and listening at door to make sure I can still hear him breathing, worried about how much this vet bill will cost, what should we do if he is really bad?
Evidently at some point I fell asleep, must have been deep sleep. Husband rolls over and hits me upside my head with a pillow. I say something and roll over. He swears he never touched me. At 530a he is telling me that I started snoring so loud I woke him and the cat. Still swears he never touched me.
First thing I ask,"is Munch still alive?" Oh yeah, he's right on peachy keen! Wagging his tail, jumping up and down, smiling with his "good morning, Mom" smile!
I hug his neck and say "Stupid F&^&%$ Dog, you were on your death bed last night!"
He smiles at me like my kids used to after they kept me up all night. Damn Dog!
When daughter got pregnant for the third time I prayed and prayed it would be a boy. Three girls was more than anyone deserved. Trust me. I would raise a house full of boys before I raised one daughter ever again. I adore my daughter, lord she should light a candle for every day she was alive after 12. At 12 her brain went on vacation and her mouth went into gear. Between the ages of 18 and 21 she regained brain skills but the mouth was still there, just more educated. Sometime there after she regained use of both in a reasonable split of common sense and age. Occasionally the 12 year old sneaks out, but it happens to all of us at some time and the language becomes foreign...as in "pardon my french you @!#@$#%^^%!"
So we have our boy and as you have seen he is an absolute joy......most of time.
Then we have the beginner episodes like haircutting and riding our 4-wheeler UP the slide. Jumping into the pool at the deep end with no floaties. Never gonna do that one again. At four he is just starting to come into himself. I said a few posts back that if I found my favorite e-mail about "The mother of boys" I would post it. Well, here it is:
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tie d to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fa n as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old Boy.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not ma k e good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin , TX has a 5-minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
My grandson is curious. That's a nice term for "he is going to do all of this and more". As the song goes "a country boy will survive", but will his parents?
On another note. My next post will be about vacation. I wanted to include pictures. But, when I changed batteries to download the pics nothing happened. Changed batteries again, nothing happened. Tried one more time..ooo flashing lights, nothing happens. Bust out manual under "Trouble shooting". Problem is not listed. Call Olympus.
"So sorry Mrs. Dumb ass you have to send your camera to NY because we don't know whats wrong, be sure and remove your picture card, include a written description of your problem and a return address. We will contact you in FOUR TO SIX WEEKS"!!
I have a feeling my camera posts will end up like Kat's Kyocera phone posts!
I have decided to go ahead and do my post about vacation with a few pics the daughter will send me. See you in a few days.
We are heading out today to go on vacation with the Sh1ts and Giggles crew. We are looking forward to hanging out with my folks, aunt & uncle, brother, son and g-friend. On Sunday we will be entertaining the hubs family. He's not thrilled either...trust me. He loves seeing them but... We don't go down south too often. We usually end up catching grief from his siblings about WHY we don't drive over to see them or they don't have time or they made other plans. It really bothers me how they treat him. My family is pretty close, we speak our minds, we fight and we make up. That's not the case on his side. They tend to hold grudges or they sometimes act like we live in a foreign country. Not telling us if something happens in the family or acting like "we already knew". Anyway, we will do the family thing then they head back home, which is within a few miles of where we are camping, which is within a few miles of where our folks live...get the picture. We will get kudos for being precious and yadada.
On a happier note, I have no idea exactly how I did it but I dropped another 5 lbs. this week. I am now at 143. Wasn't trying, husband didn't want me losing anymore 148 was fine with him.
Bi-polar is pissed cause I'm leaving at noon. Only about 2 hours before I normally get off. Said I take every Friday before a holiday off. So, the hubs got pissy because he has off & we could have left 1st thing. Anyway, we checked calendar. No I haven't for the last 2 years. I had 1 Fri. All the others got off normal time, picked up SIL and we drive to campgrounds! Crazy Bi-polar bitch. She just wanted another "feel sorry for me pity party" from the bosses wife. The husband wanted me to say something but why?
Totally loved g-sons arts & crafts on his head using scissors. Love his little brush cut just as much. His mom & dad are kidding themselves if they think this is his last "adventure". I can't find it now, but I will post an e-mail that was titled
"A mother of boys" It described things these 3 boys did. Went something like:
"You can't tie your brother to the fan to make him fly like Superman", "Putting eggs in the dryer doesn't scramble & cook at the same time".
Hopefully I will have saved it somewhere. I laugh my ass off each time g-son does something I think of that "info sheet".
Anyway, I'm getting ready to head out, everyone have a safe and happy Labor Day Weekend!
I was e-mailed this today and I loved it. I have called my folks and said "where you guys been, I've called four times?" They are retired and not mentally deficient so I expect they can handle themselves. LOL I have also been the recipient of a call like that from my daughter. So as her 32nd birthday approaches this is for her because, she has 4 young'uns, I liked it and most of all it will give me 2 posts this week and keep me "safe" from the "anonymous" comment person:
WORRY
Is there a magic cutoff period when
offspring become accountable for their own
actions? Is there a wonderful moment when
parents can become detached spectators in
the lives of their children and shrug, "It's
their life," and feel nothing?
When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital
corridor waiting for doctors to put a few
stitches in my son's head. I asked, "When do
you stop worrying?" The nurse said,
"When they get out of the accident stage." My
mother just smiled faintly and said nothing.
When I was in my thirties, I sat on a little
chair in a classroom and heard how one of my
children talked incessantly, disrupted the class,
and was headed for a career making
license plates. As if to read my mind , a teacher
said, "Don't worry, they all go through
this stage and then you can sit back, relax and
enjoy them." My mother just smiled
faintly and said nothing.
When I was in my forties, I spent a lifetime
waiting for the phone to ring, the cars to come
home, the front door t o open. A friend said,
"They're trying to find themselves. Don't worry,
in a few years, you can stop worrying. They'll be
adults." My mother just smiled faintly
and said nothing.
By the time I was 50, I was sick & tired of being
vulnerable. I was still worrying over my
children, but there was a new wrinkle. There
was nothing I could do about it. My
mother just smiled faintly and said nothing. I
continued to anguish over their failures, be
tormented by their frustrations and absorbed in
their disappointments.
My friends said that when my kids got married I
could stop worrying and lead my own
life. I wanted to believe that, but I was
haunted by my mother's warm smile and her
occasional, "You look pale. Are you a all right?
Call me the minute you get home. Are
you depressed about something?"
Can it be that parents are sentenced to a
lifetime of worry? Is concern for one another
handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of
human frailties and the fears of the
unknown? Is concern a curse or is it a virtue
that elevates us to the highest form of life?
One of my children became quite irritable
recently, saying to me, "Where were you? I've
been calling for 3 days, and no one answered I was worried."
I smiled a warm smile.
The torch has been passed.
Want to know what I did this weekend? I baked 3 new cake/muffin recipes and took 2 showers. I sat in my recliner and watched the sci-fi channel for 2 days. I made meatloaf, smashed 'tatoes and green beans for dinner Sat. and Steak, squash, salad and baked potato tonight.
Do I have a life or what?
Anyway, thought I would post these recipes, they came out really well. They were all experiments and thank god I have a wonderful husband and great neighbors who are totally honest whenever I experiment on them. Sometimes I wonder why they are still my friends after some of the stuff I've fed them. So here goes, they are extremely easy and low fat!
Banana Nut Muffins:
1 Box Angel Food Cake (Not store brand, use NAME brand)
4 Bananas smashed (Squeeze in their skin its easier to smash)
1 Cup water
Crushed Nuts, about 2 handfuls and I used Walnuts
2 Muffin tins & the little paper cupcake things if your like me and hate cleaning muffin tins, if not be sure and PAM them.
Mix bananas and water in mixer until smooth as possible, add cake mix, mix.
Batter will be thin and frothy, that's OK. Stir in nuts
Fill muffin tins all the way to the top.
Bake at 350 for 14 min. (We all know our ovens so check 'em if you need to.)
Great for breakfast and swings by the kitchen counter. About 35-40 calories per
Cherry Angels
1 box Angel Food Cake
1 1/4 Cup Water
1 Can Lite Cherry pie filling
Pour Cherries in lightly PAMed 9x12 pan
Sprinkle Cake mix evenly over Cherries
Pour water slowly over cake mix
DO NOT STIR
Cover with aluminum foil bake at 350 20-25 min
Uncover and bake about 15 more
Tada!!
You can also use Chocolate Devils Food cake and instead of water use 12oz (1 can) Pepsi Diet Wild Cherry soda. Build it the exact same way, even cook time.
Baked Smashed 'Tatoes & Gravy
Dice then boil enough potatoes for your family
Drain and set for about 5 min. so the water is out of 'tatoes
**Mash with butter, LF sour cream, softened reduced fat Cream cheese-1/2 to whole 8oz package, salt & pepper, bacon bits.
Place in lightly PAMed casserole or 9x12 pan Depends on how big your family is.
Make own gravy or pour over Heinz LF Beef gravy bake about 18-20 minutes @ 350.
My husband loved this "new" version of smashed and gravy.
**I usually use 8oz or so of Sour Cream. You want it creamy like smashed but not runny and you don't want to taste all sour cream. How much truly depends on how much smashed 'tatoes your making. But, you really won't need more than a 80z pkg cream cheese.
On another note has anyone been watching Big Brother 8? If you have, how many more times do you think AMBER is going to CRY before the season finale? And how about good 'ol JEN! Jeez took them long enough to get rid of her. Thought her and Dirty Dick were going to mud wrestle the other night. This one has got to be the craziest yet! I definitely would not want to be caught in a survival situation with any of this group.
See I told you I had a life!!!
OK, my last post was August 10th. I didn't notify everyone that I had been very busy and my husband has his work laptop hooked to my modem and I can't sign in to any personal stuff because it will "flag" him then he would get a nasty e-mail: "this is not an acceptable..." from his job with a warning.
This could then lead to him being fired if they decide he hasn't been ambivalent enough staying away from all those "nasty blogs" I read. If that happens I have to sell my 4x4 Dodge truck, my 5th wheel camper, quit getting my eyebrows waxed, my hair trimmed, no more pedicures, manicures and fishing trips. Are you guys seeing where this is going?
I am begging everyone's forgiveness. Why, because there are vicious, vicious folks out there. You might know the blogger...sh1tsandgiggles. OOOOO heartless. She has my home phone and she comments on my page. Lord the things she says. "Ma, you gonna post again this year?" "Are you waiting for people to beg you to post? Cause they won't, your not that good and they like me better." LOL
I really wanted to wait until I could get to my computer so I could add some really great pictures of the g-kids and some other things. But, instead I have been pushed into using my work computer and posting while bi-polar is at lunch. I promise when the husband is off vacation and takes his laptop back to its own modem I will then be able to at least post on a regular basis. In the meantime please again forgive me for negligent posting.
On another quick note to a special blogger out there. My husband read your EMT posts and got so engrossed that he read several. He loves it! I have now left up Weathers site, and Burg, I can't wait till he reads some of these also.
Oh, this should be a good post. I'm using a laptop at my sons' house. So far I have chased this damn "arrow" all over the keyboard. I can't get the hang of just sliding my finger around this little tiny square while ducking a crazy cat that likes me but has decided I am swatting material. Now I know how a fly feels! Anyway back to this laptop. I spent at least 4 minutes looking for the backspace key, the enter key and how to scroll up and down without chasing this damn arrow all over the screen just to land on another tiny button/arrow to scroll. I'm not illiterate on computers but I like things I can read and see. That's why I don't own a camera phone or a laptop. Too many buttons! To the husband, buttons and knobs are a "wet dream".
I have a vacuum that you just turn on and vacuums, a stove that you TURN on and tada it cooks. If I had it my way I would have wind up windows in my truck, the dimmer switch would be a button on the floor that you just stepped on and you got brights or lows. Some of you have no idea what I'm talking about but, back in "the day" that's where the dimmer switch was. I like things that do exactly what they are suppose to.
I don't want a toothbrush that turns into a hair brush for "easy travel". I want a blender to blend and a mixer to mix. I want ONE remote for the TV!!!!! I have 3! 1 to turn it on, find a station etc, 1 to adjust and turn on the surround sound and 1 to work the DVD player!
My husbands car has buttons for everything! The other day I went to hit the blinker and suddenly the windshield wipers turned on. I try to find which side of the steering wheel the wipers were on and I hit the damn horn which caused the guy in front of me to flip me off. Mean while the wipers are slamming the dry windshield, I still can't find the blinker and now I'm suddenly on "cruise" control, which is beeping because you can't turn on cruise when the vehicle is sitting still and the car thinks I'm stupid so its beeping at me incessantly to let me know "dumb ass, dumb ass" over and over again!
At this point I just want to get out of the car, call the husband on my "hit the send button" cell phone and tell him to come get his "possessed" car. Finally, I hit something on the right side of the steering column and the wipers were off. The cruise beeper got tired of calling me "dumb ass" and shut its' self off. The light went green and I turned to go home so I could sit in my own recliner and hit three buttons for the TV and find out how many more DNA tests the "Who's my baby's daddy" show is doing today. The simple life? Where did it go?
I have noticed that with some parents of boy(s)they tend to really "want" that boy to be "a boy". Trucks, cars, army men, cowboys and Indians, dinosaurs, hunting, fishing, sports and rough and tumble, you get the picture. My grandson has three sisters all of them are a combination of "down and dirty, yet jewelry and nail polish" so he gets what I consider the best of both worlds. He loves to hunt and fish and play army and Power Rangers and DOLLS! Yep, you heard me dolls.
I kept my grandson and g-daughter #2 last weekend so the folks could go out of town. In a moment of weakness I let g-sons best friend Cam and his br. Tye spend the night. Cam & g-son will play for hours and g-daughter & Tye will play for hours. Anyway, when Tye & Cams' folks came on Sunday morning g-son & Cam were in a rousing game of "House". They both had babies, they had a house behind the bar on the back porch and they were "going to the grocery" with their babies. The conversation went something like this:
G-son: Cam, we have to go to the grocery store.
Cam: What are we going to buy? Salad?
G-son: Yeah, that's helfy (healthy) for us.
Cam: And nuts too.
G-son: Yeah.
Cam: What are you going to drive?
G-son: Want to take the 4-wheel drive truck?
Cam: Yeah.
Now the 4-wheel drive truck was my hallway where they had put 4 pillows.
Cam: You can drive to the grocery and I will drive home.
G-son: OK, put the babies in there car seat. (The babies were "heavy baby" (I'll explain soon) and a stuffed Tigger)
What we got so tickled over was the mix of playing house and the 4 wheel drive truck. How cool was that? Cam and Tye's' Mom was "yeah, its good for them". I then chimed in with "but, their taking the 4 wheel drive to the grocery". Pop was "OK" with it, but you could just feel a little tinge of tostesterone in the air. Pop is a wonderful guy, but he is also "the man" just like Son in law who probably wouldn't have taken the whole thing real well, but would have dealt with it quietly until he got home and would have promptly taken g-son out to chop wood or some other man thing ".LOL
Heavy baby:
When g-son was about 2 my boss took his son to the same in home daycare g-son was at. G-son loved Bryce. Who was crawling about this time and very shy, but he loved g-son. G-son would try to carry him or pick him up and tell the sitter "This my heavy baby". This went on for about a year and the daycare closed. The boys have not seen each other since. When g-son would come to my house he would always ask about his "heavy baby" and where he was etc. Then one day he found in the bottom of the toy box g-daughter #1's old baby. This was a big ol' baby that had a stuffed body and plastic arms and legs and head. Every time he came over he went and got "heavy baby". He ate dinner with it, sat it by his cars and played. Needless to say his pops wasn't real thrilled about it but as long as "heavy baby" stayed at my house and play involved cars and trucks too we didn't have any issues. G-son is now four and he STILL drags out "heavy baby". "Gamma, where you put my "heavy baby"? After Cam & Tye left Sunday this was what g-son did: 
So let boys play and girls play its all good, when they are using their imaginations.
God bless "Heavy Baby".
Now for a snippet:
How come if you take 15 shirts off hangers and wear them all week, do laundry and go to hang up your shirts you only have 5 hangers? Are they hanging out with the "other sock"? You know the one that goes in the machine but never comes out.
How come whenever I go to the bathroom at work there is never any toilet paper on the roll? Which brings me to "what did bi-polar do since she was the last one in there?"
How come in Florida when it rains everyone slows down to 25 in a 50 zone if most of our population is from the north where it snows?
If when your standing outside there are no flies flying around, but as soon as you bring out a sandwich there are a bazillion?
Just curious.
Now I'm going to take my "heavy baby" and go to bed....
OK, if you love to shop consignment shops raise your hand...OOOO. I LOVE consignment shops..nice ones. I abhor spending money on clothes. I can go to Lowe's and drop a $100 bucks and not bat an eye lash or a plant nursery...No issues. My husband thinks its tacky and tells me "Grammice I can afford for you to buy "decent" shorts/jeans etc. why go there?" Because, I can buy 4 "decent" pairs of shorts, blouses and some kind of something that catches my eye and spend less than $60! Also, I go to a very nice, very clean repeat shop.
I can pick up jeans for winter that someone else spent $70-100 on, made them comfortable and I pay $6-10 and don't have to deal with the "break-in" period. I have bought DKNY, Hilfiger, Talbots etc jeans & paid $8.! Now beat that. Kids clothes are cute, adorable and expensive between birth and 5, Hallelujah Consignment shop!!! Half the time they grow so fast they don't even get to wear some of their new clothes.
Don't get me wrong, Occasionally I will buy clothes at a store. But I have my limits. For a special to-do at my husbands' office last year we were told to wear semi-formal. OK, now I had to go to the store. I wear jeans, shorts, t-shirts to work, formal or dressy just doesn't work for me. Anyway, husband made me go to dept. store. Told him I wasn't gonna spend a fortune, maybe $30. He laughed told me to buy something decent AND shoes or he would send my neighbor with me & give her the check. Yeehaw. I took daughter, I bought a very nice calf length, chocolate colored w/lace layover and scalloped hem dress, brownish gold "hooker heels" at JC Penney for $35! The dress was $125 marked to 75% off & another 10% for weekend Sat. before noon sale. Shoes were on clearance for $6. Damn I'm good. Anyway, get home husband loves the outfit says I'm a hottie.
Monday, he goes to work, he gets an e-mail from the "Dinner coordinator":
"We have changed the dress code to dressy-casual for the Honors Dinner."
He didn't want to come home with that message, he really didn't want to tell me period let alone in person! When he did call, after I got home, my response was exactly what he thought after 28yrs together.
"WTF! Who's' brilliant F*&^&%# idea was this? Less than a week before the dinner! Its' Probably that stupid Bitch ###* she loves to shop and needs another outfit! AND WTF is "Dressy-casual" I'm wearing jeans & t-shirt, stupid asses."
Despite the rant which I'm sure he held the phone away from his ear he never said a word. Thank goodness I had been to "my consignment" shop and had just bought the cutest pair of DKNY jeans at top dollar $10.87. But I needed a nice blouse, back to the consignment shop. A Burgundy silk blouse with poofy sleeves. $3.25!!!
We went to the "Dressy-casual (held in a barn by the way) Honors Dinner" Everyone kept complimenting me on that "beautiful" blouse. Each time I just looked at husband. HA!HA! I win.
OK, this isn't the exact post I was going to do.....but I went to the consignment shop last night and bought 3 shorts, 6 shirts (2 for husband LOL) and this totally cool wrought iron leaf thing that was just the right style for over my french doors in the family room in a spot for 5 years I've been trying to put something. Paid $8. The husband even said it was nice.
So head to the consignment shop, buy cool stuff, then head home and put all that money you saved into something you really want or want to do, like go to Lowe's!
The Ice Cream Cake I made this myself.
The Birthday girl and her favorite brother.....her ONLY brother
The Sister and friends
OK, so I resorted to cheating a little with pictures. But, in my defense if I don't post the daughter will be calling me names in her comments. The party went well. She got what all 13 year old girls love........MONEY.
So the weekend ended nicely.
But, here came Monday full of fire and brimstone! Yep, bi-polar came back off vacation. She slammed into the office did not say one word to anyone and proceeded to bitch and heavy sigh all morning. Then the comments started, by the end of the day I was so done I just wanted to walk by and slap the back of her head! Alas, I was afraid to due to the amount of chins she has I might have gotten caught in some kind of wind tunnel effect or after shock. LOL I'll probably go to hell for that comment. Today is Thursday and I am so over the bitch. We ran out of Fax machine ink yesterday afternoon. I put a note on her desk "We are out of Fax machine ink". Pretty plain, easily read. I was still out at 245p today. Over a month ago I put the last empty box on her desk with a note, "Used last Fax cartridge". She has ordered supplies 2 times since then. Would she get off her fat ass and check the supply closet? Its' on her way to the kitchen? Hell no. Instead when I again asked if she got one this morning, she said "No" and rolled her eyes like I just asked for a tonsil or something. Finally she went and got 1 not 5 or six but ONE, of course she wasn't going just to the office supply..no we stopped to get a Large order of baked spaghetti and side of garlic bread. The only reason we got one at all was because the boss needed to fax something and needed the confirmation. Bitch. When I go in at 7 tommorrow the fax machine will be out of paper, the memory will be full and I will have lost several faxes. Shes' the office manager. Goes to prove if your a shit-ass, rude and mean to people the boss will promote you. Funny thing is they don't like her either and wish she would "go away". Go figure.
I usually can just blow her off and not lower myself by letting her get to me, but this week has really pushed my patience level way past acceptable. Last night the husband said "You know after 4 years your going to have enough one day and just let loose on her. Your mouth is going to go into gear and by time your done she will wish you had hit her and got it over with."
Scary thing is hes' probably right. The people I work with don't know me really well and they have never seen me angry. Not even upset. So, they will probably fall out when it does happen. I've learned over the years to control my mouth instead of just saying exactly what I think. Husband says I can "cut your heart out" with my mouth. My older friends have told me I've become a "kindlier more gentler" Grammice. That may be coming to an end. In the words of one of the funniest comics (in my opinion) I've ever heard, Jerry Clower...."Knock him out John, one of us has got to have some relief!"
