The Golf widow and the great fish tank uprising

So, I take Martin Luther King day off from work because the husband said he was not going to play golf. Guess what its 48 degrees and he just left to play golf. Funny how that worked huh? Anyway, getting a little pouty, had this stupid idea we could go to a movie...Bahaha! Foolish woman! Then after he decides he is going to play to ease the guilt he says "we could go to an early lunch, then I could leave for golf and you could go to Bed Bath and Beyond (a housewares store with neat kitchen stuff)". No thank you...

I making venison stew for dinner tonight its cooking as we speak. Cooking relieves some of the tension for me. But, the whole time I'm thinking about this golf thing while I'm chunking carrots, potatoes, onion and celery. I have a very sharp weapon, uh knife in my hand and I'm thinking.....No, not a good idea, I have a bad back and jail cots just aren't comfortable.

Meanwhile, the phone rings. It's daughter. The kids are having kaniptions because there has been another murder in the Christmas fish tank. They say the 2 algae eater fish I gave them are killing the other fish in the tank. Especially one in particular. He is eating their tails they can't swim and die!!! "Call the girls" she yells into the phone and hangs up! I call the girls. G-daughter #1 is yelling into the phone about eating tails, g-daughter #2 is yelling at g-daughter #1 and g-son is just yelling so he's not left out. I repeatedly tell them to just hush and listen to me! PLEASE!!!!! Good God almighty! The kids are having a melt down, I have a weapon and I am seriously thinking about slitting my own wrists at this point. Meanwhile husband is a Jolly and thinks yelling g-kids is funny and g-mom will solve the problem. Asshole, he's going to play golf.

I then ask if anyone has SEEN the fish eating tails? Uh, no. Then WHY is he doing the slaughter? Well because he's NEW! Yeah, blame the new kid cause he's different. I had a 75 gallon tank with all kinds of fish never, ever a problem. I also ask IF when they bought fish for the new tank did they find out if the fish they bought were social or aggressive. No, but everyone got along until the "new kid" came. Again with the new kid.

So, I tell them to just watch the tank. See if you can see when and IF the new kid is eating tails. "No, g-mom he's hiding in the back on the bottom". Then as if on Q bossy #1 says to #2:
"just sit and watch the tank".
G-daughter #2 yells "No, way #1 I have a life and I'm not watching the tank all day".
#1 "Well its you're tank AND your fish he's eating".
#2 "I don't care, I'm not just sitting there all day watching a stupid fish".

By this time they again are yelling at each other and G-son is yelling something about changing the channel and "be quiet I can't hear the TV". I'm also wondering if I hang up now will they notice? or just keep yelling? Hmmm the button is right there..... Instead I interrupt the tirade, several times and now I'm yelling into the phone!! I hear #1 say to #2 "Shut up g-mom is mad at you and told you to be quiet". "I never said that" I tell her. I meant for you BOTH to shut-up! Then I proceed to explain you don't have to sit in front of the tank just look in once in a while, I tell them I love them and to get their chores done because g-mom is hanging up NOW!
I go to the garage to have a cigarette, two minutes of pure silence...then husband comes out all dressed to go. He gives me a list of everything he has done before leaving, so I will know. I'm thinking to ease his guilt. But at this point I don't even think he realizes how close to death he has come.
I will go to dance class tonight for one hour, stomp the living shit out of him on every step I take then come home friendly. He will only assume that I just needed to relax and all is good in his world.
The g-kids will call every time the new kid moves and I am going to find some rum and one of my smoothie mixes, put it in my little "Bullet" and tada take their calls. I will eventually promise the g-kids that g-mom will take them to a real fish store and replace the fish that the new kid has allegedly eaten and again all will be well in their world.
I should have gone to work...bi-polar doesn't have fish!