A Mother of boys post

When daughter got pregnant for the third time I prayed and prayed it would be a boy. Three girls was more than anyone deserved. Trust me. I would raise a house full of boys before I raised one daughter ever again. I adore my daughter, lord she should light a candle for every day she was alive after 12. At 12 her brain went on vacation and her mouth went into gear. Between the ages of 18 and 21 she regained brain skills but the mouth was still there, just more educated. Sometime there after she regained use of both in a reasonable split of common sense and age. Occasionally the 12 year old sneaks out, but it happens to all of us at some time and the language becomes foreign...as in "pardon my french you @!#@$#%^^%!"

So we have our boy and as you have seen he is an absolute joy......most of time.
Then we have the beginner episodes like haircutting and riding our 4-wheeler UP the slide. Jumping into the pool at the deep end with no floaties. Never gonna do that one again. At four he is just starting to come into himself. I said a few posts back that if I found my favorite e-mail about "The mother of boys" I would post it. Well, here it is:

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tie d to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fa n as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old Boy.

11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not ma k e good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin , TX has a 5-minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

My grandson is curious. That's a nice term for "he is going to do all of this and more". As the song goes "a country boy will survive", but will his parents?

On another note. My next post will be about vacation. I wanted to include pictures. But, when I changed batteries to download the pics nothing happened. Changed batteries again, nothing happened. Tried one more time..ooo flashing lights, nothing happens. Bust out manual under "Trouble shooting". Problem is not listed. Call Olympus.
"So sorry Mrs. Dumb ass you have to send your camera to NY because we don't know whats wrong, be sure and remove your picture card, include a written description of your problem and a return address. We will contact you in FOUR TO SIX WEEKS"!!

I have a feeling my camera posts will end up like Kat's Kyocera phone posts!
I have decided to go ahead and do my post about vacation with a few pics the daughter will send me. See you in a few days.