Dog-A-Ria

Just a quick "this is how my week is gonna start" post.
Sunday morning our best/oldest dog Munch, wakes up with the dog-a-rias. Thank God he barks, pants and paws you to go outside. Open screen door, hauls ass, I mean tail tucked flying straight for very back wooded area of yard. If he were human his butt cheeks would have cemented together from the force of squeezing so tight. We do this several times through out the morning. I'm doing laundry, the dog is shitting in the woods and husband is playing golf. Sounds fun huh?
Finally around noonish he settles down and is just laying out on the tile floor, dog not husband. Husband gets homes, Munch so happy, no sign whatsoever of the lethargic, dog-a-ria from earlier that I had to deal with. Husband states "well, he seems to be fine now."

Around 830p husband says he just cleaned up very bad dog-a-ria in living room. Uh-Oh. Not Munch? I say hopefully. We both look down at Munch who is now foaming at the mouth, eyes all cloudy, breathing very hard. Shit! Clean off mouth with paper towel, gag repeatedly. Run dog outside quickly. Nothing! He sits on stoop and looks at us.

Decide I am taking him to vet 1st thing in AM. He's old, hes' our baby & we just know he is dying before our very eyes. Call daughter to tell her. Miss Sympathy says "Well, that's what happens when you own dogs, you get attached, they die. Just give him a TUMS he will be fine". She uses TUMS for everything, ear aches, stomach problems, burns etc. No sympathy there. We decide to cover the guest bath in an old blanket, turn on the little nitelite and let him sleep in there. At least if he got dog-a-rias in the night it was confined & I could just throw the blanket away.
I go to bed at 945p at 130a I am still wide awake. I'm worried about Munch, keep getting up and listening at door to make sure I can still hear him breathing, worried about how much this vet bill will cost, what should we do if he is really bad?
Evidently at some point I fell asleep, must have been deep sleep. Husband rolls over and hits me upside my head with a pillow. I say something and roll over. He swears he never touched me. At 530a he is telling me that I started snoring so loud I woke him and the cat. Still swears he never touched me.
First thing I ask,"is Munch still alive?" Oh yeah, he's right on peachy keen! Wagging his tail, jumping up and down, smiling with his "good morning, Mom" smile!

I hug his neck and say "Stupid F&^&%$ Dog, you were on your death bed last night!"
He smiles at me like my kids used to after they kept me up all night. Damn Dog!